Close to Home by John McPherson for September 11, 2023

talk about hands on, this one is hands in…

Puppet theatre

Don’t laugh, lady, you’re next.

Oh, he’s just practicing for the marionette show tonight.

It’s when they try to make you a ventriloquist dummy, you got to draw the line.

We want a maximum return on investment and synergy in the workplace is an impactful goal for the customer journey. Core competency can be a pain point when ball parking the impact of sustainability. We also want a next generation, holistic approach to the hyper local ecosystem, and a high bandwidth of the touchpoint.

There… I spewed all the corporate buzzwords… can I go to the bathroom, now!?

That’s bad…

No jury in the world would convict him.

And that’s why these corporate drones are forcing their work-at-home employees back to their offices. Even though in most cases they’re more productive where they are.

Hi, Bleeb. Maybe you should just be patient and wait for a more attractive target to walk by.

I had a boss try something similar with me (he came over and gave me exact directions at how to do my job) so I got up and said he could do the typing; there was no reason for both of us to do one job and I could get other work done. He left me alone after that.

Sadly I had a boss who once micro-managed I would open up an email and she would call me to discuss the email

If the boss thinks you need that much management, it’s time to find a new job, or a new career.

Time is money. Stockholders want the maximum return on investment- back to work, all of you!

shudders bro I can’t even how your bathroom breaks are

…and they said no strings attached….

In my field, I used to hear about techs using microscopes all day would have to punch in and out when they used the bathroom (this was happening in a commercial lab, not a hospital one). I also remember a hospital lab where the techs were paid by the number of cases they finished… this led to “cherry-picking” cases and using up reagents and leaving an empty bottle for the next person.

Do you need to be micromanaged THERE as well? lol

I had a boss like that. When I ordered my business cards he added “Bill” between William and my last name. Which I think looks like a used-car salesman. They went right into the trash. We all got commemorative jackets for breaking a record and had 3 options for what was printed on them. He told the guy collecting the info to use the same option for all of us (luckily I was there and stopped that).

The boss is always breathing down his neck.

The manager doesn’t have anything to do or a concept of his duties. He is a candidate for a redundancy list.

Yeah, Bleeb. I guess you could call it bondage. Bite the boss man’s ankles, will ya??? :)

Do you feel like a puppet in the scheme of things?

No, you may not go to the bathroom, as taking time off to relieve yourself would be a microaggression against any coworker with chronic constipation or with bladder control issues. Going forward employees will be required to check their excretory privilege.

Definitely looks annoying……

Hi, Bleeb!

That’s more like nano management

This eliminates the Westinghouse Effect, anyway.