Broom Hilda by Russell Myers for September 28, 2023

#1

THIS Is How You Handle Your Weird Pizza Needs

A friend of mine used to do pizza delivery, and a notable local politician was one of his regular customers. Said customer had a pretty specific and odd preference for how he likes pizza, the key aspect of which is enough barbecue sauce for the pizza to practically be a pool of it. He would, when placing the order, emphasise that he wanted A LOT of extra barbecue sauce, absolutely swimming in it.

Of course, depending on who took or made the order at the time, this sometimes got interpreted as just being hyperbolic and a more subdued amount of extra sauce was used, but the customer never called back demanding a new pizza or shouting at them that it wasn’t enough. In such cases when receiving the pizza, he’d just say:

Customer: “It’s not as much as I like, but I know it’s a strange order, so not everyone’s going to get it just the way I like it.”

And he would be suitably appreciative if it was right.

#2

Pineapple On Pizza Is One Thing, But Sales Tax Is Too Much!

I take a call for a delivery order. I give him his total.

Caller: “Why is it so much?”

Me: “Well, it’s [amount #1] for this pizza, [amount #2] for the delivery charge, and then [amount #3] in sales tax.”

Caller: “Sales tax? I’ve never heard of that!”

Me: “Sir, all goods and services are taxed, except in some states where there is no state sales tax, but unfortunately for us, we’re not in one of them.”

Caller: “Sales tax?! You’re just making that up!”

He hangs up. A moment later, the same number calls back.

Caller’s Wife: “I’m sorry for my husband; he’s an idiot. We’ll take those pizzas, please, with a side of sales tax.”

From the position of the speech balloon, it looks like it’s the delivery truck that’s talking.

Someone’s about to wear a pizza.

But, she still got six slices…. diet sized!

Looks like Nerwin is going to get a free pizza…

“Who are you calling pizza?”

Gasp! Broomy you must put in a complaint….this is not right!

tip – to improve performance? if so Generally, a payment qualifies as a tip if it meets the criteria listed below:

The payment must be made free from compulsionThe quantity must be determined by the customer without restriction;It should not be subject to discussion or be determined by employer policy; andThe recipient of the payment should generally be chosen by the customer.

If these factors are absent, the payment is likely a service charge.

With the look on Broomie’s face, he’d better hope the ride back isn’t like riding a buckling bronk.

A friend was doing an investigation many years back. We arrived at subject house complete with kitted out delivery car and a pizza. The guy argued he never ordered one but driver had all the information. Finally lady in question appeared and the little Minox under the pizza box took the picture we needed, and he paid for the pizza to get rid of us and a tip!

If you were Broomie, what would you turn his car in to?

\\//_

That’s someone who would never get another tip from me — nor would the restaurant ever get any more of my business.

Hey Myers, you know the guy who delivers the pizza ain’t the guy who makes it, right?

Your very own personalized pizza.

Check out today’s Garfield…

It’s not nice to fool Mother Nature nor a pizza-loving witch. Prepare to fry, pizza boy!

NEVER upset the person who delivers your food.

Driver, get ready for the ZAP

I don’t want to tip drivers and I don’t believe in delivery charges. So I always drive to the place and pick it up myself. End of problem.

As ye sow, so shall ye reap.

Broomie and Pizza-Boy seem to deserve each other….