The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn for November 05, 2023

With aches and pains even.

Check yourself in at the nearest cannery.

Oh, it’s a long, long while, from May to December

But the days grow short, when you reach September…

Used to be Ho Ho Ho, now it’s Rake Rake Rake.

Probably not so Jolly now.

He will soon be the Grouchy Brown Giant.

As your father before you …

And “Sprout”? What happened to him?

He never visits, seldom even calls. He married some Valley Girl, and they live in a greenhouse in the Big City.

Sorry JGG, time marches on!

Coming next… The Compost Years!

Winter’s coming.

And when he passes away, people will express their condolences, saying “Rest in peas”.

Make like a tree and leaves

At that age, he’s lost his Niblets…..(among other things. )

… also known as the autumn years of life.

Let’s hope those groin leaves are evergreen. Wouldn’t want someone to take out the pruning saw.

The autumn of his life.

Haaa-aa-aaaa3!

Makes me wonder what winter will look like.

Lettuce rember him fondly.

Kinda sad. Although, let’s hope he left the “factory” in good hands. I’d hate to have to do without my Green Giant Kitchen Sliced Green Beans!!

Aw! That’s SAD!

But isn’t it a once a year occurrence

At least he still has his tiny church!

Maybe it was all just a pigment of his imagination.

He has a “Bird’s Eye” view of things.

Wait until those leaves fall off and you freeze your niblets. Let’s hear a Yo-Ho-Ho when that happens.

These days he gets up and peas a couple of times every night.

We all get older. I just refuse to get old.

Then he’ll join with Jack on that beanstalk in the sky.

Bleah! I prefer sugar snap peas, myself.

And he never should have hired those Monsanto people to do his housekeeping.

Sniff! What’s that rotting smell? uggh, toe jam.

“Ho Ho.. sob!”

In the end, it always comes out golden and brown. If it comes out red, you should see a doctor.

All his jolly turned to jelly…

I hope the leaves don’t fall off of his jolly fall tunic.