Crankshaft by Tom Batiuk and Dan Davis for December 17, 2023

Where’s Crankshaft?

Tom, there is no Pulitzer for Blandest Strip Ever.

Yes, of course. When re-opening a pizza restaurant that’s been shut down for about a year, the top priority is hanging up the Christmas decorations.

No one bought the jukebox when the contents of Montoni’s were auctioned off last November in FW?

And what, pray, does Mopey mean by “raise the do-re-me” (which is generally spelt “mi”)? If he’s talking “dough-re-mi” as in money, didn’t he and his partner the Pizza Box Monster already buy the place? And if it’s a literal reference to pizza dough, shouldn’t he…oh, I dunno…hire actual kitchen staff to prepare the ingredients to bake pizzas, strombolis, calzones, etc. rather than expect his comic book artist pal to help with that?

I confess, you’ve gotta admire the identical semi-smirk stares on Generic Batiuk Blondes Min-dull’s and Jessica’s faces in the last panel. “Wait a minute,” each is thinking, “How can I be standing over there with that nebbish when I’m supposed to be over here with this nebbish!?”

Why is it that Mopey and Chinbeard hung so many blue balls?

Julie Andrews stopping by?

This strip has all the literary themes! Man vs Man, Man vs Nature, Man vs Himself, Man vs Man Not Particularly Wanting To Do Anything So He Leaves Very Mildly! HEMINGWAY IN A TOOLSHED, PEOPLE! (Yes, Tom once described Les as that)

“This week on ‘Trophy Blondes for Nerds,’ we’re live from Lorain, Ohio! At Montoni—AHH! WAS THAT A RAT? EATING A ROACH?!”

Where’s the band box?

Can’t carry a tune?

Wait’ll they hear about the giant mall being built just outside of town.

They need to deck themselves with Boston Charlie and keep Nora from freezing on the trolley.

….just when you were just getting warmed up!!!!!!

I thought Pete had the financing to reopen Montoni’s?

What does “deck the halls” have to do with “do-re-mi,” anyway? Seems like the last two panels are completely unrelated.

By the way, who’s that guy in the black shirt apparently standing in for MoPete today? His stunt double? His understudy?

I’m fascinated by the little one-pot coffee machine in the first panel. I can’t recall ever seeing somebody drink coffee while eating pizza (at least not in public). Is coffee-with-pizza an Ahia tradition? And if so, isn’t that one-pot Monsieur Caffeine a bit on the small side?

Wow. They were able to close the sale, get all the licenses, and get the restaurant up and running in just a few days…

Thank goodness they decorated every square inch of the place. This will bring in thousands of customers (who weren’t visiting the exact same place before which drove it to closure) who won’t even notice that the place isn’t furnished or equipped to actually prepare food yet.

What is the point of that bizarre totally unrelated song lyrics “joke”? Is he saying now they need to raise money to open the restaurant? If that’s the case, what was the point of wasting their whole day decorating the insides of a place that’s closed? If he’s saying they need to raise the pizza dough in order to cook it….that’s even dumber.

And where’s his ridiculous partner, the Pizza Box Monster throughout all of this?

wow he couldnt wait to start the pizza story up again because sunday is usually some stupid one liner by cranky . by the way what was the joke in todays strip.

Raise the do-re-me?

Can’t wait to try their Turkey and dressing Pizza with cranberries sprinkled over it.

Where’s the Pizza Box Monster?

Got any fruitcake pizza, perchance??

Oh, how I love a good pizza. Nice Italian sausage, good bread sticks/pizza fries. I’m a happy camper when I eat at those places

Haha! (＾▽＾)