That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for December 04, 2023

Dad, I don’t mind posing for your nude statues, but do you have to keep carving me with breasts?

Hold still and keep quiet, son.

Harvey was used to sculpting on a budget, but working with a model who had a hunch presented a unique challenge.

The model’s sacroiliac/

was quickly beginning to crack/

she was willing to pose/

without any clothes/

but this took her completely aback.

“I’ll reattach your hand later. If you had sat still like I told you, I wouldn’t have cut it off.”

As part of the compensation, the sculptor at agreed to pay for the model’s chiropractic treatment.

/// Viktor Malmberg resumed his attack

on the statue’s undone marble back.

His nude model’s fine spine

traced a delicate line,

but he’d much rather model her rack.

Say, that’s a handy coffin over there.

Chiseled in “No regerts”

Elmer finishes his latest work called “Wife Faking a Headache”

I think the acupuncture would help my neck more if you performed it on me, rather than your practice model.

Margaret needed money badly. Viktor needed an inexpensive model. Both being rather shy, prudish people, they arranged to carve her figure bit by bit, exposing small areas of her body at a time — the individual parts to be assembled later into a complete sculpture model.

Viktor, however, sold model kits as 3-dimensional puzzles, much to Margaret’s dismay and humiliation. She went all to pieces!

“Thing” is there to massage her neck when she gets a cramp.

“You just watch where you’re poking, Hugo”.

She was willing to “cut him some slack”/

But her spine was now quite out of whack:/

Her condition grew febrile/

As he strove for vertebral/

Perfection – but he lacked the knack…

The sculptor had asked his model if she could find the missing leg.

Today, On Maury: “I Married A Chiseler”

“Don’t fidget. Remember, if I make a mistake it’s easier to chisel you into the statue’s likeness than the other way around.”

Later that week, in an awful tragedy, John the sculptor, after a night out binging at local pubs, confused his model for his statue.

Sculptor To model: “First, I make the teeny tiny model of you, and then I work my way up to full size. Are you available the next 27 years?”

Hey – it worked for Pygmalion. Surely it will work for me.

The sculptor had to get her drunk before she agreed to pose nude.

Guys! There’s a melting hand right out of Dali in the upper left corner!

Actually, at first, I thought he was praying…

“Well, I’m sorry! And if you had taught me first the proper way to undo your brassiere clasp, then I wouldn’t be having to make this adjustment now, would I ?!?!”

“You’ll be thanking yourself later for your menstrual cramps giving me this idea.”

Portrait of Viktor Malmberg: 

Paste (including the quote marks) 

"Category:Undated paintings" Wikimedia 

(syntax supported by the Google, Bing, Yahoo, DuckDuckGo, Ecosia, and Yandex search engines) in the browser address bar (or search for it using one of those search engines) and choose the first Category: found and once there find the text string Viktor, and click its link for info and links that point to more info (perhaps best viewed using Google Chrome, which can automatically translate most webpages if necessary) about this roughly roughly jumbo envelope size painting. 

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (Ctrl- or right-) clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s MASTERPIECE #3230 (December 4, 2023) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment, and using the dropdown menu (even larger, if you trim what’s after .png from the URL). I have added a comment there (awaiting Mr. Melcher’s approval) pointing to info about this artist I used to point to here. So far, 2 works by him have been used here, the December 5, 2016, strip being the prior.

Everybody said “take a picture, it’ll last longer!”, but he had a better idea…

Hugo the painter may be Finnish, but Viktor the sculptor finished first.

Has your doctor ever spoken to you about scoliosis?

This way, the model could play on their IPhone for as long as they wanted.

Hugo: This is the last time I go 50/50 on a model with Viktor. Mr. “I need to do this Close Up”