Close to Home by John McPherson for December 19, 2023

And hope that you live long enough to use them.

alas hemorrhoids don’t get such offers with them ….

Worthless. A thousand miles won’t get you a trip to the restroom.

Where was that deal thirty years ago? I feel cheated.

How many air miles can I get for heartburn?

Another appearance by Dalcon. What is he up to?

Cash equivalent: $1.

If he flies anywhere these days, his doctor will call it a stress test and send him a bill.

Dalcon is on the naughty list. Since The Tooninator can’t control him we will have to rely on Santa.

… and you get an IV of Mountain Dew Blue! Throw-in a gas station burrito and I’m there!

Great. The OR is sponsored by FlyByNight Airlines

Finally!

I need 5,000. Hmm…..

Dacon is there again today and Bleep.

Fly Away!!!

You two! Bleeb! Dalcon! Front and center! No fighting in the hospital room! The bed pan is NOT a hot tub, and NO, you can’t have his Jello!!!!!! Sheesh! :)

Let me punch your card. With your 5th surgery, you get a free latte.

Obviously don’t expect them to survive the surgery.

Ha! They’ll come in handy when you book your next medical tourism package.

What can I get for/with an angioplasty?

Dalcon’s on the chess board, moving in for the checkmate!!!

And that’s middle seat, economy class.

John, have you got stock in a certain heart surgeon’s clinic?…

And you get a ticket so you can bypass security.

I’ll take the Curacao; leave the Mountain Dew.

Really, only 1000………

How many miles does the surgeon get?