Free Range by Bill Whitehead for December 26, 2023

“Saucerer’s” apprentices.

They’re beaming with “pried.”

“Beam me up, ScotE.T.” (But am I allowed to use my right to a “phone home” call before?)

Now, now boys!!!

I wonder if he has a wish bone.

War of the Worlds. War of the Words.

Now now, learn to share. Each take half.

Looks like they have a probelem.

And in Georgia today a man claims to have been the victim of a duel abduction by Alien beings.

“There I were, out ther in the woods hunting for big foot, just me and my six-pack of Natty lite, when all of a sudden two beams of light struck me at the same time. These two flying saucers was trying to beam me up and they was a fussing and a fighting over which ones seed me first. Why them little space creatures got into such an argument over it, I just skedaddled fer home as fast as I could run. Well I did stop for a beer and a whiz, but then I runned home real quick like.”

The aliens from Solomon 3 will be here shortly to render a judgement.

His red hat is flying.

Aha. Just what the alien astronut theorists had always suspected!

That’s intragalactic. It’s interplanetary, but intragalactic.

Got there beam me up rays tangled