Close to Home by John McPherson for February 10, 2024

And now your auto insurance is $2000/month.

Whatever gets it paid for.

And Bleeb’s all ready to do the cutting.

Don’t leave out the extended auto warranty, they’ve been trying to contact you about that.

But it only covers valve jobs…

We’ll be using your jumper cables to restart your heart.

Hi, Bleeb. Please don’t mess with any of the wiring back there.

He probably had a Groupon!

So, my “check engine light” surgery is a go?

And now he’ll have a heart attack trying to pay for both. I don’t even want to think how high that would shove his premiums. Open heart surgery costs about 200K US dollars, but they do give you this nifty red heart shaped pillow with it. You hug it when you need to cough… It keeps your ribs in place after they saw your breastbone apart.

Lemonade IV? Seriously?

What’s the deductible?

Wow! That’s kind of like the $.10 off a gallon of gas I get from shopping at a grocery store! Saved $.80 yesterday!

That could be a big savings!

great… does he get some mileage now. :}

Funny, he doesn’t look like Flo…

It does seem like an appropriate pairing. A German study found that an hour spent driving triples a person’s risk of a heart attack in the hours that follow. A Belgian study found that traffic exposure accounts for more heart attacks worldwide than any other activity, including physical exertion.

The bad news your going to have to replace your exhaust.

And some bad news : the surgery will be performed by Flo.

The downside is his mechanic has to do the surgery.

But I don’t have a car.

Unfortunately, they heard who was performing the surgery and canceled your life insurance.

So . . . does he have to be hit by a car to justify the surgery?

Now they can bypass all the red tape.