Loose Parts by Dave Blazek for February 23, 2024

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The other day my wife and I were leaving the house, and she handed me her can of root beer. She rarely finishes a can, so I took a drink. She told me I wasn’t supposed to drink it, just hold it for her. It’s as if she expected me to read her mind or something.

He only reads the minds he wants to read.

Mentalist or not, buddy – you know the drill.

Selective " mentalizing."

That is the problem with comics having thought balloons.

He might be a fraud.

“I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side.” -Steven Wright

Maybe it’s a second marriage and he hasn’t tuned in yet. After 57 years, I can suggest it still isn’t totally tuned in.

My wife and I once had an argument. The reason I was upset was because she made an assumption about why I took a certain action. I accused her of not being able to read my mind. I said, “What am I thinking now?” She flipped me the bird. I responded, “OH MY GOD! You CAN read my mind.”

We both broke up laughing and that was the end of the argument.

His mental list is full of empty buckets.

Mentalists don’t actually read your mind

Read your text? Read your email? Read your palm?

If the communication protocol has not ben established, there is no transfer of data from sender to receiver.

Well, she has no mouth. So there’s that.

You’re supposed to be able to read her mind.

His powers don’t work a full 360 degrees

He can’t read your mind unless it’s printed in the right typeface. Thank God! He’s a fontamentalist.

See…here’s the thing. She shouldn’t have to tell him to unload the dishwasher. He’s an adult and a task needs completion.

I see a divorce lawyer in his future.

Ha! Blame it on information overload.

He suffered from a temporary mental block.

It’s the thought that counts.

he could’ve seen that coming…