Last Kiss by John Lustig for February 21, 2024

Hopefully she won’t get “board”. I know, I know, that’s knot funny.

He built a motorcycle from pine, but it wooden run!

Aren’t you supposed to nail wood, not get nailed by it ?

I was going to say the nailing hasn’t even started, but I guess it could be going on down there.

You wood not be wrong if you is says that.

Not yet, but he’s working on it.

…and his pencil is still behind his ear.

And after, you’ll get hammered.

Nailed, hammered, screwed. By a guy with a woody. She’s putty in his hands.

Her popularity has taken a sudden spike.

I’m not saying he’s cheap or easy but around town he’s known as “three penny”

Back in the day, “The Carpenters” always plane turned her on, from the first time she sawed them.

She got that pegged right.

Now let him show ya what he can do with Duct Tape!!

It’s easy for her to get nailed. Men get turned on by her fine ash.

… and screwed too!

A woman goes to see her Dr. “I have a splinter in ..you know…down there.” The Dr says “Sorry I can’t help you. We’re not allowed to remove wood from a natural recreation area.” (Or something like that, if I’m remembering it right).

She may want to get nailed, but she’s not a carpenter’s dream – flat as a board and easy to nail. She’s not flat by any means.

I’m surprised. She has more curves than a carpenter’s dream.

She dated a plumber, but he was too draining. Next she tried an architect, but they couldn’t build anything together. Then she told the paver to hit the road. The porter had too much baggage.

She needed a comic book artist, because they are always prefect.

Wait till she sees his 2×4 ( It really is 2″×4″ )

She doesn’t need the drywall; she just wants the studs.

Most carpenters use threaded fasteners these days…oh, that works too.

He always want to hammer it home….☺️

In joist a minute, he’s going to be framed.

GUY: Yeah honey – I guess you’re right. Hookers are woodworkers too!

GAL: And while I don’t ever measure anything twice, I only have to cut a b***** once to get her off my corner.

There’s some erecting going on, but not about a building.

You don’t have to get hammered to get nailed.

Just so the hammer hits the head properly..

This could lead to screwing.

What a hammer!

But does she breed like a Rabbet?

Celeste always did like a carpenter that knew how to handle his drill.

What’s been the delay? I would have nailed you much sooner!!

“Treat me like a tube of biscuits and bang me on the counter” she said.

She is getting plowed.