Reality Check by Dave Whamond for April 07, 2024

Yes, I can relate.

“Freedom of Choice, is what we got! Freedom FROM Choice, is what we want.” – DEVO

But…you don’t have a choice anymore. If you try to buy a washing machine with only the programs you need, like wool/ handwash, 90°C, 60°C, 40°C, you won’t get it. All new machines are with a lot of fancy settings you will never use in your whole life!

Modern appliances also sing, chirp, and talk in little cartoon voices. My sister’s washing machine sometimes interrupts our phone conversations. She has an oven with a purple interior that she nicknamed Barney. Fortunately, it does not sing.

Sorry to say, but I do sort my clothes according to colour and material (4 separate laundry baskets … imagine) and change the water temperature and amount of water according to colour and fabric (it’s usually just cotton). Once in a while a handkerchief or two goes from white to pink ( yes, I carry a handkerchief … I’m of a certain era ). The fun part is folding the lot and putting them into their proper piles.

The new thing is customizing cycles and downloading them into your machine.

Should just hook it to a Clapper!

Salespeople at appliance stores will guarantee you that your new all electronic appliance will last only one third as long as your old mechanical one, because all it takes to turn it to junk is the failure of one tiny chunk of silicon. A replacement board is usually close to the cost of a whole new machine. Ah, progress.

As George Carlin once said, “Nail two things together that have never been nailed together before, and some schmuck will buy it”.

That’s me!

My daughter’s new clothes washer has no agitator so by design it runs twice as long. I fail to see where that’s an energy saver. I may be wrong, but I just don’t see it.

Quit advancing the washing machines and spend that effort on making me a Rosey the Robot from the Jetsons, then I don’t care how many buttons the washing machine has!

Alright, I care… ‘cause I like things with a lot of buttons! … but I still want a Rosey.

I don’t think I’ll pester my landlord to upgrade my appliances.

bells and whistles…

But he Maytag a few extra dollars on.

Ha! But wait, there’s more! Every one of those useless settings is designed to break down hours after the warranty runs out, making your machine landfill thanks to the insane cost of the repair. Good deal or what?!

“We are stuck with technology, when what we really want is stuff that works.”—Douglas Adams (R.I.P.)

Yup, my Bosch dish washer helps me to avoid decision making.

I bought a dryer with a “steam refresh” feature – specifically because it has that feature. After the installers left, I discovered they had not connected a water line to the dryer. I called the appliance store and was told, “Oh, most people don’t use that feature.” They did send the installers back.

I had already called the installers back once because they took off without removing my old microwave oven, which I had had replaced at the same time.

Good thing I’m retired with plenty of time to fool with service people.

Will never forget a couple of years ago when I went to buy some 40 and 60 watt lightbulbs …

OH … MY … GOD …!

( and don’t even think about an appliance bulb )

All modern electronic junk! Oh and by the way, it will break down in a year or so and need to be replaced.

Hmm..induction stove with Xerox copy feature or top load washer?

you know you are in trouble when they say an appliance has wi-fi

My washer and dryer are 31 years old. I know they are probably on their last legs but I sure don’t want to have to buy new ones.

Exactly !!!