Herman by Jim Unger for March 22, 2024

Perhaps a perfumed dictionary

Cosmetics, cosmology, what’s the big difference?

You’re looking for cosmotics, pal.

Close enough.

Your teeth are like stars, they come out at night.

He’s in the right department – she looks like an alien to me!

Next, he’s gonna show an etymologist a weird bug he found to identify.

Your eyes are like lipid pools…

Not cosmos. Cosmetics. Different science.

This is not the universe he’s looking for.

This is more of an alternate universe.

“Somethin’ by Carl Sagan or Isaac, um, as-a-color-purple-grey.”

Douglas Adams wrote a few books….

Need to send him to Cosmetology school….xD

Make sure it is the “For idiots…” version.

I think you’re in the wrong department, sir, you want the Cosmos section at the planetarium section, 4 th floor….

Sir, this is cosmetics. Cosmos is on aisle 24.

Something tells me he won’t understand it…

Sorry, after seeing the commercial with the same joke 100+ times it’s not really funny anymore. In fact, it could be a lawsuit.

How about, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus.

Sir – are you aware that we also have an optimology department?

He looks a lot like 45.

“We have billions and billions to choose from”

“Cosmos-tics. Four doors down.”

Maybe you should go with something more down to earth.