Frazz by Jef Mallett for May 10, 2024

I have personally seen a man shaving while driving. On an interstate. And a friend swears he saw a woman practicing the flute. Phone? Pish and tush.

Reading the newspaper. Washington Beltway, mid AM, several years ago.

Driving on ice while drunk, talking on a phone, and eating a saucy burger.

Try adjusting your radio.

Every cyclist’s nightmare.

There are hands-free phones for cars, but as far as I’m aware, no hands-free devices for eating burgers. Though in Charlie Chaplin’s “Modern Times” there’s an invention for a person to have an entire hands-free meal.

I’d like a drone service to send me images on my car screen.

Texting while driving! Phone conversations in the food store! Grrrr!

Phone is less messy, so potentially less distracting

Kid’s fixated on disaster. Frazz is frozen.

Women applying eye makeup

When they first started talking about banning people from using their phones while driving, they kept quoting the stat about number of accidents caused by distracting driving, INCLUDING using the phone. They neglected to mention at the time that among accident caused by distracted driving, phone were ranked 5th. Being distracted by things outside the car was number one, so rubber necking. Also talking to people in the car, eating, and reading were all up there. Yes, reading. People putting a book\newspaper on the steering wheel and reading.

So eating and drinking beat phone usage in causing accidents but no talk about banning that. I guess the fast food restaurants had too powerful of a lobby.

Third Option: Any BMW driver

There’s only so much stuff one can put on a burger before it overflows the bun.

What’s the scariest thing in the world? Women who put on their makeup at 90 miles per hour. You can always tell. They’ve got the Revlon dashboard. Vanity lights around the rear view mirror. Guys like me in the next lane are so scared we drop our newspaper from the windshield …

In the average U.S. household, 15 to 18% of expenses go to owning, maintaining, and fueling automobiles. On average, Americans drive more than 14,000 miles each year. This, despite the clear harm that automobiles cause to the natural environment and human health and the colossal amount of land and public expenditure that is necessary to support car-centric design. Yet you somehow expect people who make such asinine decisions to somehow make good choices when they get behind the wheel?!!!

Perhaps I should stay in bed today.

I had someone coming to the house, backing up the driveway with a drink in one hand and a phone between her head and shoulder talking to someone while trying to steer. Needless to say she wound up on the lawn but at least didn’t hit a tree or anything.

I’ve seen people with books or newspapers in the middle of their steering wheel. Another with a toddler in her lap. Human stupidity has no bounds.

Reading a paperback while driving a pickup, but at least it wasn’t a highway.

I was driving, and eating a messy burrito when the radio told me about John Lennon. The resulting laundry mess was epic.

Driving into work one morning in the winter, it was dark. The car in front of me was driving erratically. Came to a red light and I could see a woman putting on makeup in the vanity mirror with lights on. If a woman is ugly enough to have to do that, I imagine the makeup is no help.

I think Frazz was trying to push focused driving. My car insurance gives me a 5% discount if I maintain 80% focused driving for the month and a chance to win a bigger discount for 100% focused driving.

Michigan has made it illegal to use “hand-held phones” while driving (or sitting at a traffic light) and eating while driving.