Close to Home by John McPherson for July 14, 2024

Needs ten sacks of Quikcrete®!

That will cover about three inches.

Might need just a tad more.

Journey to the Center of the Hearth?

They could always turn that crack into a water feature—like maybe a moat. Add a few alligators, call it an “in-home security system,” and they might qualify for a discount on their home insurance.

Norton Homes

Looks like the house was built on a fault line.

This is the builder’s fault!

Bring the builder over. Stake his hands on one side of the fault. Stake his feet on the other side of the fault. Then tell him, “No more settling had better occur!” See how quickly it gets fixed.

A split level home.

It’s a caulk and bull story.

Yeah! And whose fault is that? Huh?

SHAKE IT OFF … Taylor Swift

Coworker bought a brand new house on a slab. Washer/Dryer were in the garage. For some reason the washer overflowed and washed part of the floor of the garage away forming a ditch!!

We’re back to real time and Bleeb’s back!

I know my house has settled. I have doors that close on their own.

Welcome to Grindavik, Iceland.

Not mine

Some settling is normal in a lawsuit. And unless this gets fixed PDQ and without any charges, there will be a lawsuit.

Another home sold by:

San Andreas Real Estate Associates?

Hi, Bleeb! I missed you, little buddy!!

It wasn’t builders fault?

Hmm maybe someone’s a little too heavy

That’s not normal settling.

Bleeb says the only way to save this house is to sacrifice the builder to the monster in the crack. Then used the caulk to seal it up. Boy, he really picks up some good stuff in his travels! :)

We’re going to need some bigger tubes.

Hi Bleep! Missed ya.

Some builder skimped on ground and foundation compaction. As I’m going through that right now with our new home build and a baker’s dozen of inspectors, that really hits home.

So the builder says “It was find when we left it so it must be your fault”.

wise men build their house upon the Rock, Dwayne Johnson Realty

They shouldn’t have settled for that builder.

New house? Our house is 120 years old and doesn’t have a 90° angle in it any more.

Remember that division of assets we were talking about? :)

True story: I was working for a guy who told us he went to check on a crew installing a large window. When he got there he saw they had left a gap of a couple inches under it, and the guy he’d picked to lead the crew was yelling to one of the others “Hurry up and get more calk!”

And three kilos of oral cr@p