Crankshaft by Tom Batiuk and Dan Davis for July 17, 2024

After googling “kayak rentals” for a few different locations, I didn’t find a place where this is a thing. Is there any place where the kayak-rental business is so brisk that you need to make reservations?

You have to be impressed by Swing-Era Rental Man and his power to smoke a cigar through his jaw.

And besides that we don’t take cash, only credit cards.

“Look here, see?? Me ‘an this scalded ‘n plucked chicken want to rent a canoe, see??”

“Me no want steenky kayaks see. Gimme a canoe now. Not tells me you no has that anymores.”

Kayaking on the Lake of Death! Remember my dissertation on Lock 15 Brewing’s beers? “Killer Fog,” their hazy New England IPA†, is named after a cholera-typhoid-malaria outbreak that killed a lot of people… most of them laborers on a project to lower the level of this lake. Eugene and Dead Lucy should fit right in…

† Label art possibly drawn but not signed by Chuck Ayers

mfrasca (yesterday):Fun fact: Summit Beach Park’s Crystal Pool—“the biggest tile pool in the world!”—was closed to Black people.

Which makes me wonder… is the clerk allowed to paddle a kayak on the lake, or just collect rental fees?

FWIW: during Covid, the National Park Service and Army Corps of Engineers changed their campground policies such that all sites had to be reserved and paid for. No more setting up on an empty site and paying at the office. This was to reduce contact that spreads disease. But: you could literally “reserve” your site when you arrived; just pick one that’s unoccupied, reserve and pay via website or phone app, set up. USACE still uses this system; NPS now has cash payment envelopes at its first come first served sites.

Not terribly relevant to today’s strip, but perhaps more interesting.

Where’s Crankshaft?

I’ve been a canoeist for over 50 years. The first time I ran into a kayak was on the AuSable River outside of Grayling back in the mid-70s. They looked cool, but we passed them easily in our canoe — your stroke is less efficient when you make sweeping arcs compared to a straight backward pull. Honestly, those kayaks were far superior to most rentals I see today, which mostly seem to be used in much the same way that we would use inner tubes to float on the river. The big pity is that you can no longer rent honest rowboats … not an aluminum hull meant for an outboard but those big, heavy wooden hulls optimized to slice through the water rather than on top of it. I’ve only used them a few times, but they were a dream to use on a lake.

Fundy National P_ark in New Brunswick, Canada

But you have like six kayaks right outside!!

Times is a changing!!!!!

Another example of how things have not improved from the past.

Continuation of the Story

Rose and Tom strolled hand in hand, their steps slow and measured, as they made their way down the familiar path to the canoe rental. The sun was high, casting a golden hue over the park, and the scent of blooming flowers filled the air.

Tom smiled, memories of their youth vivid in his mind. “Remember our first canoe ride?” he asked, squeezing Rose’s hand gently.

Rose nodded, her eyes sparkling. “You were so determined to impress me, even though you could barely paddle straight,” she teased, her laughter light and melodic.

As they approached the rental booth, Tom’s smile faltered. The familiar wooden shack was gone, replaced by a sleek, modern building. He stepped up to the counter, pulling out his wallet.

“Two for the canoe, please,” he said, his voice carrying a hint of nostalgia.

The attendant, a young woman with bright blue hair, looked up and smiled apologetically. “Sorry, but you have to rent the kayaks in advance online.”

Tom’s face fell slightly as he turned to Rose. “I guess times have changed,” he murmured.

Rose patted his hand reassuringly. “It’s okay, Tom. Let’s just take a walk along the water.”

They wandered down to the edge of the lake, watching the kayaks glide smoothly across the surface. Rose leaned her head on Tom’s shoulder. “We have the best memories, don’t we?”

Tom nodded, a smile returning to his lips. “We sure do. And we’re still making them.”

Together, they stood at the water’s edge, the past and present blending seamlessly, a testament to a love that had weathered the changes of time.

Panel 1: “Look, see?? Gimme some rope and weights too, see?? I gotta take care of this job, see?? The broad knows too much, and Vinny wants her to sleep with the fishes, see??”

Considering there wasn’t a car in the lot, there’s not a soul in sight, and there are a half-dozen kayaks just sitting there, I think she’s missing an opportunity…

On the one hand, at least these are characters from this strip. On the other hand, no one cares about these characters.

At last, a cartoonist with the courage to show how small-town America has suffered under the greedy reign of Big Kayak!

What’s worse, the rental boats nowadays only have those fancy armrests with cupholders!

Move to Boston and try the “Swan Boats”

Big Bear Lake has shops that require you either reserve in person kr online.

Bye bye simple times.

Yesterday’s strip the parking lot was empty, and today there’s a whole line of kayaks just sittin’ there… but ya need a reservation…lol! Reminds me of the time we went to a local restaurant that was touting itself as a fancy schmancy place. We walked in, the place was freezing (had a space heater running off to the side) The waitress asks if we had a reservation… the place was empty! And against our better judgment we stayed (and since we didn’t have a precious reservation she seated us by the kitchen door) Two other couples showed up… that’s all. It wasn’t long after the place closed up. Ah…memories… just like in this strip!

Looks like you have plenty available. Yes, but I don’t know how to actually rent one.

Everything is done on line — ordering tickets, renting a room, even dating - liked the old days -- and get offa my lawn!!

Sad, he’s just trying to relive a happy memory.

on the Fox River in Wrightstown, WI