Last Kiss by John Lustig for November 04, 2024

“You need to know he’s fertile,

So don’t rush in, give it a while.

It matters not what the amount,

What you need to know is his sperm count."

THEY PUT THE WRONG DATE ON YOUR BIRTH CERTIFICATE, THAT’S OUR STORY AND WE.RE STICKING TO IT.

Pregnancy.. Worst excuse for getting married ever…

For the third or fourth time.

Pregnancy: one of the leading causes of starter marriages

So it’s her fault her parents got married.

Goldilocks teaching all wrong theengs to Junior Goldilocks eh.

As an experiment, count the number of months between your parents’ wedding day and the birth of their first child. You might be surprised!

Or like here in Sweden wait until child number 3 is about to start school.

MOM: I’m going to try out for the role of Mrs. Robinson in the local theater’s production of _The Graduate." Wanna help me with my dialog later, big boy?

GAL: MOTHER!

GUY: Again??? I never knew that old movie had such explicit sex scenes! GAL: MOTHER!!!!

“At least until the 3rd month so you know it’s not gas.”

And no fooling around until you get married!

That’s the spirit! Thanks, Mom!

“Remember, little lady, it’s divorce you rush into.”

Better yet…wait until the kid you have is old enough to have a part in your wedding (this does happen).

“But, I love the way he chews on my hair”

In the olden days new couples would spoon, but the kids looked awful after being strained through thqt blanket.

Ah, yes, the traditional method. Love it!