Mike du Jour by Mike Lester for November 04, 2024

Why don’t cops have anything better to do than pull over speeders?

“Do you know why I pulled you over?”

1)“No, but I’m sure you’ll be happy to tell me!”

2) “You’re going to give me a Safe Driving Award?”

3) “You recognized me and wanted my autograph?”

4) “You noticed my out-of-state plates and thought I might be lost?”

Saw someone driving the other day with a golden retriever on her lap. If she had had to react quickly, they would both be injured.

“And 95 was the route you was on, it was not the speed limit sign”

Wait, that’s illegal or do you just want to check to see if she is licensed?

Big day tomorrow. I pray for America.

Because the ticket process brings in wonderful cash flow.

Air bags are not safe. They are a first choice against a steering wheel crushing your chest.

…at least he didn’t get shot!

Nothing says “I love you” like a well-aimed taser, as Mike will soon discover if he keeps being a wise guy…