The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn for December 15, 2024

What does an Elf do with a cell phone, why he takes an Elfie….

Well, I no longer have to worry about #2…or the #1 in #3, thankfully.

A mosquito buzzing past my ear will wake me up to turn on the light and hunt that sucker down!

Baby crying will get you up as well!

Do not get the Elf part!

I spring out of bed when I get a sudden leg cramp, the kind that can only be relieved by standing up and stretching the leg muscles.

#3….often.

My son and daughter both have elves for their kids. I keep duplicates in my home. It’s always fun to see the look on the grandkids faces when the elf shows up the morning after they arrive.

HIde the elf and say Santa took him back to the North Pole.

I am so glad that my youngest was over 10 years old when the Elf “tradition” started spreading.

Whew, so glad nobody commented that the Elf appears to be touching… uhm, himself… oh, oops?

Stupid fire alarm goes off in the middle of the night because it has too much dust. Unfortunately, we have one by our heating system’s air intake and it collects dust very quickly. We have to vacuum it every month.

Or.. got prostate enlargement.

Good ones! ☺️

Springing out of bed? Time for a new mattress.

I’d rather have a pet rock

The only one that applies to me is having to do #2 in panel #3.

Add to the list – realizing you’re not in your own bed.

I’m surprised “The sound of a cat hacking up a hairball” didn’t make the list.  Those of with cats know that that sound will get you out of bed faster than being splashed with a bucket of ice-cold water!

Burn the elf. It’s stupid.

Why would you want to stress out children? They get enough with the equally stupid Naughty and Nice B.S. Nice needn’t be a commodity.

This time of year is supposedly a time of Goodwill and Giving, give the kids some slack. Teach them about Goodwill, Peace, and Forgiveness.

Well, the bathroom run fits … but that elf is beginning to look like Chucky.

I solved the trash run years ago by putting it all out the night before.

Will Ferrel is at the front door.

Where’s ma in her kerchief?

My understanding is the Elves move every night but they can’t be touched (at least not while the kids are watching). My grandkids brought them with them last weekend when they spent the night with us, along with their advent calendars. I wanted to wrap them in bandages so the kids would know snitches get stitches. To quote Lucky’s Dad, “We’re raising a nation of squibs!”