Crabgrass by Tauhid Bondia for December 05, 2024

Gotta love his courage

Yeah, polar bears do not give a (EFF). They’ll literally just walk right up to something and start eating it, alive or not, because they KNOW they’re the apex predator of the Arctic.

Seriously I’ve seen videos of nature photographers in bear proof cages. They just walk right up mouth open ready to bite ’em without hesitation.

Not even a sample taste to see if it needs more salt.

I think the bear can smell Santa on the kid.

The advice I heard for bears goes like this:If it’s brown, lie down.If it’s black, fight back.If it’s white, try to mentally prepare yourself to be eaten by a bear.

Yeah Kevin, Polar Bears are the harder ones to avoid attack.

Bear: “This one’s crazy. Better not risk contracting whatever it’s got.”

Yeah, polar bears are an enormous apex predator. You’d have to breathe fire, spit poison, and shoot lasers from your eyes to seem like a threat to them.

If the bear is black, fight back. If its brown, lie down. If it’s white, good night.

If you see a bear, climb a tree. If it climbs up after you, it’s a black bear. If it shakes the tree to get you down, it’s a brown bear. If it uproots the tree to get you, it’s a Grizzly. If it eats both you and the tree, it was a Kodiak.

I would probably die if I encountered a bear. I’ve never even seen one in person.

Offer the polar bear a Coke® and a smile.

My favorite is, “If it includes bears, don’t go there”.

Don’t think you have the touch, Kev.

But seriously, why not tasers for self defense ?

Try playing dead.

Quick! Offer him a bottle of Coca-Cola!

Don’t think I want to go through another Crabgrass series. Will until they get back to normal cartoons.

Kevin, now might be the time to unleash one of your epic room clearing farts! Too bad you don’t have a pair of Kyles socks handy.