That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for December 04, 2024

/// Rome’s Augustus charged Virgil to write

The Aeneid and then to recite

his grand epic out loud

to a small select crowd.

Cæsar’s sister slumps, senseless from fright.

‘’No, I did not get ’Honey Nut Cheerios’……I got ‘Cheerios’. It says right here on the list, ‘Cheerios’. If you wanted ‘Honey Nut Cheerios’ you should have said ‘’Make sure you get the Honey Nut Cheerios’‘, or put ’Honey Nut Cheerios’ on the list. Next time you can go to the Piggly Wiggly.

The tough life of a door-to-door toilet paper salesman

“If we’re going to have these weekly poetry readings, could you at least learn to read faster than five words a minute? You’ve put Claudette into a coma.”

The gladiator fights didn’t really take off until fans started fantasy leagues.

Reading the script of “Ishtar”.

Virgil sings about “arms and the man”/

To Augustus (once Octavian)/

“It’s an epic,” says he/

“So you’ll probably be/

Well advised to go pee whilst you can.”///

“Arma virumque cano/

Qui primus ab oribus Trojae..”///

Two lines I can never forget/

Intended to aid and abet/

(Although certainly fiction)/

The Roman’s conviction/

That they were the best empire yet…///

But sire, it says right here in the fine print, “he who smelt it dealt it.”

“You remembered correctly, sire. This CVS receipt does have a 30% off coupon for allergy remedies. Which brand should I pick up?”

Early acting awards ceremony. “and I also want to thank….”

For them, it’s a “Ten Box”

Virgil reading his Aeneid to Augustus: 

Paste (including the quote marks) 

"Category:Salon of 1814" Wikimedia 

(syntax supported by the Google, Bing, Yahoo, DuckDuckGo, and Brave search engines) in the browser address bar (or search for it using one of those search engines) and choose the first Category: found, and once there find the text string Gassies, and click its link for info and links that point to more info about this large painting. 

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (Ctrl- or right-) clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s MASTERPIECE #3422 (December 4, 2024) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment, and using the dropdown menu. I’ve added a comment there pointing to the info about this artist I used to point to here. So far, first work by him used here.

“Well, you can see that the suggestion box got quite full, but it seems to be just copies of ‘Not that I loved Caesar less, but that I loved Rome more.’ in Brutus’s handwriting.”

Back when Santa was just getting started, they took his naughty list and feed those kids to the lions.

Marc Antony had the same preferences as his mentor, Julius Caesar. They both lived by the motto “anything that moves”

Jacques utterly failed at charades.

Bio of Augustus I listened to said that Antony spoke to impress, while Octavian spoke to be understood. I like to think of myself as more like Octavian as a singer, vis a vis some professionals.

Again? He’s reading the same romance novel! He just changes the names each time!

I checked your speech for errors….simply put it is perfect, Sire!

Have you thought about regifting a drunken hussy?