Rubes by Leigh Rubin for December 28, 2024

He still may never find himself.

Now get out!

I went to a guru named Falco back in the mid-1980s. The diagram he showed me hadRockMeAmadeus.

Just add your own profundity and stir.

He only had to climb a small hill to reach this guru.

Why is Dwayne Johnson hanging around with this old f@rt?

Looks like this guy needed a map… he could just be a guy looking for directions.

early google maps

There you just finded yourself.

I expected to see a dashed line from the X curving downwards.

Elon’s paying him to promote X.

The last of the KMart gurus!

He would have done just as well at the mall information kiosk.

The true path of enlightenment

Pick up rock. Hit guru over the head. Dump body over the cliff. Take guru’s place and get rich.

Unfortunately, in life you only sometimes get what you pay for. What is guaranteed is that you never get what you didn’t pay for.

See? I should be the guru! And if it weren’t for the lack of pizza delivery, I’d be there doing that!

He said he wanted to find himself. The guru met his request. Seems legit to me.

I wonder if these mountain gurus use sunscreen on their bald heads. That high-altitude UV is pretty intense…