F Minus by Tony Carrillo for January 23, 2025

“Hmm—Question: Is there any limit to how dull life can get?”

Guaranteed to remove the last of the joy left in your miserable life.

If I drink too much uncaf, do you have any options for me?

They should market that stuff.

Hookah lounges are for that?

My son once questioned the term, “unsweet tea,” as they do not sweeten it first, then remove the essence.

Scientists need to develop the Unvax jab for anti-vaxers. (slight hint of malice here)

Got anything that’ll filter the COFFEE outta my system?!

There’s such thing as over-caffeinated. The more the better!

That has some potential for people like me who love coffee and tea. I could drink those all day if I could use the Uncaf close to bedtime.

Is there an unbooze too?

If Im 99 pounds and i eat a pound of nachos, am i 1% nacho? Yall want to hear my near year’s resolutions? 4k, 1080p, and 1920×1080 (Full HD) If atoms never touch, then do we have only have 4 senses? What happens if you press the brake and gas pedals at the same time? Does it take a screenshot? If apple made a car, would it still have windows? Why are cookies called cookies and bacon called bacon when you bake cookies and cook bacon? Your first birthday is technically your second birthday. Nothing is on fire, fire is on things. Fire trucks are actually water trucks. Does a straw have one hole, or two? Bean bags are boneless sofas. If you stab a cereal box, are you a serial killer? If two people on opposite sides of the world drop a piece of bread on the ground, earth becomes a sandwich. Are oranges call oranges because oranges are orange, or is orange called orange because oranges are orange? If tomatoes are fruit, can ketchup is jam. Shouldn’t phone chargers be apple juice? You have fingertips, but you don’t have toetips, yet you can tiptoe but not tipfinger. Teeth are the only problem where if you ignore them, they will go away. The object of golf is to play the least amount of golf.

Do they dip you in Methylene Chloride or a Swiss Water bath?

Back in a sec, I need to refill my cup.

What? No more going to the bathroom?

Hear that Starbucks, another marketing opportunity.