Herman by Jim Unger for January 22, 2025

“Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury. My client certainly did not cheat on his written driver’s test.”

Looks like he’ll have to plead guilty to looking unhappy, though.

That sounds like a Bob Newhart joke.

Although, he’s at all the ballgames

S-o-o—o you can’t do a tailgate picnic anymore? Bummer.

Is there a statute about hovering (too close)?

I’ve been trained on the “two second rule” – allow at least two seconds between you and the car in front of you. I vary this based on driving conditions.

When I flew C-130s and we did airdrops we did the 6-second rule. You saw the aircraft in front of you go over a landmark and then started counting in your head to see if you arrived over it 6 seconds later. After a while you get a feel for what 6 seconds is. Still you “recalibrate” every now and then.

I do the same thing when driving. Every now and then I mentally count off the seconds between the car in front of me and me.

At 60 mph, two seconds is 176 feet.

The old rule of the road was to allow one car length for every 10 miles per hour of driving. So to make sure the driver of the car behind me is being safe, if he is one car length behind me, I slow down to 10 mph.

In this case the judge is hovering and he needs to duck and cover.

Seriously, I keep wondering if he comes up with the art first, and then thinks up a caption to match. Or vice-versa? Either way, it’s funny!

He tailgates hoping to find a party at a ball game

Drivers in Mexico use their turn to comunicate with other drivers. Once we were on a curvy hilly highway behind a semi truck when he used his turn signal on a blind curve and our driver passed the truck, the truck driver was signaling to traff-ick behind him it was clear to pass. I should mention that the traff-ick stacked up behind the truck, yup! Tailgating!

They didn’t have to make a federal case out of it.

Judge: Give me some of that barbeque you made at your tailgate party and I’ll drop the charges.

oh the irony

We used to a friend who stood behind you – or -in front of you – just the way the fellow in the witness stand is doing. He’d get so close you’d see two of him, and if you backed up, he’d step forward. Once I managed to get a grocery cart between us, and he actually looked as if he was trying to get either over it or around it. His wife said he was that way at home, too. She’d be cooking and he’d appear right beside her elbow, with no room to turn around. One time she stepped sideway to pour something into the sink, and ended up pouring it all over him. He still didn’t figure it out.

yeah, but, he’s definitely guilty of invading personal space!