Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson for May 16, 2012

Is this an early Calvin? It does seem unusually direct for him.

Foolproof system!

“We are unable to take your Call at this Time, If You’re selling Anything: Press 1 and Hang up now” My parents have used that one for Years. I prefer to answer the Phone in French…Scares the bejeezus outta Telemarketers for some Reason. :-)

From the mouths of babes, a telemarketer solution! Doesn’t work with Card Member Services, though, They keep calling and callingand calling…

Susie is on other side.

Everything in Calvin’s household ignores the law of gravily: his TV, his dad’s bicycle and now his phone

Perfect, Calvin!!I don’t know if I’ve ever said this here, but I have the perfect cut-off for telemarketers and other unwanted calls. When they go into their spiel, you say, “Wait, wait—can I ask you a question?” When they say Yes, you say, “Did you know Jesus Christ died for your sins?”Silence. Silence. Click.And they don’t call back.

Bonjour. Je ne veux pas repondre à votre appel téléphonique. Partir et ne jamais revenir.

Click here: Pearls Before Swine (2011)

may be Hobbes ’s calling ….

If you’re seeking money… go call B.O.

This is one of my favorites!

“I’m sorry, but I don’t have a telephone.”

La plume de ma tanteest sur la table de mon oncle.

The ultimate answering machine. I wonder how Calvin would handle cell phones. Would he be like other kids and want one?

We alway tell those pesky political pollsters that we plan to vote for the candidate who calls the least.

Received a call about 3AM. Woke me out of a drunken sleep. The next morning, my wife tells me I answered the phone in German, a second language I picked up in the military. They never called back.Think about it. If you get a call at an inconvenient time, answer with the foreign equivalent of “Hello or Yes”. Such as; in German, “Ya”. If you recognize the caller as someone you don’t wish to talk with, have a couple of rehearsed foreign phrases prepared, and recite them as needed. They’ll hang up. If they call back, repeat it. They’ll probably take you off their call list.

I do feel sorry, somewhat, for the guys whose job it is to make these sort of calls. They have to do so many calls per hour, and suchlike. And it’s not so easy for them, at the moment, to find another job either. So, yes, they did choose the job, but how much freedom did they really have?

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But what really torques me are the jerk companies that robo-call and never let you know who’s doing it to report them to the feds.

What? Calvin was never able to buy himself a cell phone?

I have a $10 device I got at Radio Shack that goes in the phone line from the wall jack. The instant I pick up the receiver it puts out a short brief tone that a robot computer calling thinks is a line no longer in service signal and immediately hangs up. All I get is a dial tone.

when i pick up the phone nobody’s home.

Comedian Tom Mabe had the best response for a telemarketer. “Telemarketer Homicide” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YvJQxgtJW94 Give it a listen. You’ll die laughing!

That’s what we should do, Calvin.

Nearly everyday we get recorded messages on the home phone. And twice on my mobile.

I sometime get texts saying ‘We have not being able to contact you since your accident’

And they ask if I can claim for compensation.

GRRRRRRR.

xxx

One of my favorites.

Je ne parle pas couramment, mais j’adore la langue et de la culture! Je voudrais habit toujours en france!

Once my friend started reading dictionary definitions when it was someone selling something.

Hello this is Morty Mortuary. You stab we slab ’em.. We are running a two for one one one any one shot with a double barrel shot gun..

You would be surprised on how many people would hang up when I was a kid.

I’m glad someone picked up on the fact that it was a rotary dial phone. “Hello, operator?”

Telemarketers (the company, not the poor bloke making the calls) get paid by the number of people they contact. So when they call, keep them on the phone for as long as you can.

Pick it up and put it on the table. Or it should be easy enough to program a simple AI algorithm that parrots back the conversation. “You say you are selling aluminum siding?” “I understand that you want to talk to an adult.” “I’m sorry I didn’t understand what you said. Could you repeat it?”

I don’t want to be disturbed today! Give me rest!!

In my college days I got a spate of obscene phonecalls. I was also in choir so I would sing at the person in Latin, or German, or whatever, at full concert volume. They stopped.

All of the electronic devices in Calvin’s house are strikingly athletic. Since he is living in the days before answering machines/services, his message is uncannily presicient….

My TracFone was constantly being left with a distorted, taped VoiceMail’ from some company wanting (garbled) Rose to call (garbled) phone number, I finally got sick of it all and went through all the combinations that sounded like it and wound up at a website of a collection agency in PA. I called every officer listed and ’I’m sorry, I’m not at my desk right now, so if you’d leave your name and number…."NObody works that long, hard or often….So… I eMailed a ‘strongly worded message’ to everyone listed on that site and since then, not a peep.

Flipping Awesome!

Dont talk too loud ,a space ship is on my lawn,I dont want them to know I got friends.

I’ll have to remember this one for the upcoming campaign season, living in a swing state and all.

And I used to have French, Spanish and English on my answering machine.

Calvin’s message was phony!

The telephone must have been taken by surprise. It’s a bit jumpy!

I ought to take a cue from Calvin (and you guys).

Yo tambien hablo otro idioma que ingles. Me felicito.

@Lingee Whiz: You’re welcome. Here’s a strip that shows Lucy trying hard not to be mean to Linus. Also note that she is shorter than Patty, because she’s younger.Click here: Peanuts (1953)

Besides that, these smart-alecks don’t seem to realize that when these telemarketers get fired for not making their sales quotas (because they’ve had to deal with too many jerks who think they’re being cute with their varied methods for blowing the telemarketers off), said telemarketers are going to be filing unemployment claims and welfare claims which, said cutesy jerks are going to be paying for in the long run!

You know you’ve got problems when: the teacher asks you about Lewis & Clark on a test; and you earnestly reply that they were a comedy duo from the Vaudeville era! (LOL!)