Frank and Ernest by Thaves for July 27, 2023

Shouldn’t it have been take 2 laxatives and give me a ring in the morning

What a ding-a-ling.

The bell-rung caller told the doctor “I need a ward.”

“Why did you swallow the bell?”

“It, uh, peeled at the time.”

I’d like to chime in…

Calling a dr in the morning. What a lousy way to ring in a new day.

Will deliver instead. Just look on your doorstep.

oh this chimes the wrong way…which ding-dong wrote this?…well, i’m gong

And in the meantime, in the bathroom:

“One wringy-dingy… Two wringy-dingies…”

(¬_¬)

Put the lime in the coconut, and drink them both up.

Let me chime in with my 2c worth – I don’t find that appealing.

if you are still a bell to…!

Reminds me of a joke:

A woman calls the doctor and says her child swallowed a quarter. Doc tells her no need to worry, it will pass through with no harm.

Next day the doc calls her to check on child’s condition and she says …. wait for it….. “No change yet”.

The young couple on their honeymoon were about to spend the week camping in Yellowstone, but first they had to listen to the ranger’s orientation speech. He was particularly emphatic about bears. “They’re a protected species, so we’ve got lots of them, but they’re still dangerous. Don’t approach them under any circumstances. And don’t try to outrun them; they’re faster than you are. And climbing a tree won’t help, either; they’re better at it than you.”

The nervous groom asked what they could do about it.

“Well, some people stop by the gift shop and pick up wristlets or anklets with little bells. Sometimes if they hear you coming, they’ll move off before you get there. You can also get cans of pepper spray in case you surprise one. Oh, and be on the lookout for fresh bear scat; that’s a sign that they’re around and you might want to leave.”

“What’s scat?” asked the bride.

“Bear droppings. You can tell what kind of bear it is by what their poop looks like. The smaller ones, black bears, have scat that’s kind of firm and roundish, like dark ping-pong balls. The really dangerous guys, the big grizzlies, have softer, flatter, lighter-colored droppings, kind of like cowpies, except they usually have little bells and smell like pepper.”

A bell? Then he’s feeling queasimodo.

(Just a hunch I had.)

if he jumps up and down maybe he can get a gig as a bellhop…