Gil Thorp by Henry Barajas and Rachel Merrill for May 12, 2020

Gil making sure he gets the uniform back. Cold.

“What do you do when your branded, and you know you’re a man?”

P3: What does “District Policy” say about Gil putting his right hand on Mike’s left shoulder?

Multiple EES occurrences today. Told you Snarkers number 1 is the loneliest number one could ever choose. Looks like The Mayor’s next stop is Milford Alternative School. Thanks for showing up for your son Mr. Knappe.

In all reality , Breaking News ,Milford Student Athlete Alleges Coach Torp Assaulted Him. Alleged Assault Occurred in Locker Room After Expulsion .

P1, And even better for you, you’re no longer in this strip. Congratulations!

P2, To get back into Milford? That’s cruel and unusual punishment for the lad.

P3, Then one last shower for the road!

I understand the policy….. but where is common sense.

I had no sympathy for this kid. But expulsion does seem too harsh.

Hadley V. Baxendale’s defense will be that a butter knife is an ineffective weapon, compared with other objects that are already present in the school. She will demonstrate that fact by stabbing members of the school board with a scalpel from the biology lab, a compass from the mechanical drawing class, a butcher knife from the school kitchen, and a radial saw from shop class. She will then wallop another school board member with a baseball bat. The surviving member will vote for reinstatement when Hadley pulls out the loofah.

P 3: “…you’ll need to change out of those clothes, then I’ll help you into the shower…”

P-2: Doctor Pearl points out that a threat is an assault and throws Mom out of the school within a week of Mother’s Day. R&W are sadistically reading “Fifty Shades of India Ink”.

Strike one on me. Dad never showed. How do we know he even really exists?

Golf starts early this year.

The great peanut butter conspiracy. Next thing you know he’ll be holding up gas stations.

Hmm, peanut butter getting equal billing with the knife in the expository box to kick off today. There was no complaint about that though, all Dr. P cared about was the knife. And speaking of caring, I’m sure you care that today’s Mopped Up Thorp is now online.

https://moppedupthorp.wordpress.com/

Headline tomorrow, “Cafeteria serves pot roast, entire school population chokes to death as Dr. Pearl removed cafeteria knives to cut meat.”

10 years from now, the Mayor will be holding court on a regular bar-stool in Milford with drunken rants of “…I coulda’ gone pro if it weren’t for that dam principle and spineless coach who didn’t have my back…”

Headline: The Mayor impeached at Milford High

Needs new nickname

Just when I think GT can’t come up with stupider story lines…

Oh, and is coronovirus not a thing in Milford?

Better call Saul Goodman.

P 1.5; “….sweeeeet….”

should have used a bucket of water on her and watched her melt

I’d love to hear the Mayor’s new nickname for Dr. Pearl.

You might be able to find a school district with this strict policy, but I doubt it. Suspension is common but expulsion without any leeway is not. And calling a butter knife a weapon is pushing it. School districts don’t want to go to court anymore than we do.