Herman by Jim Unger for June 05, 2021

Okay, but I’ll have to charge you extra.

“No chip, Doritos.”

Long ago, many fast food burgers included onions. Lord, I dislike those things.

In my kitchen, a homemade burger is not complete without sautéed onions, bacon, homemade BBQ sauce, honey mustard and pickle relish. DROOL! :P (I line a multigrain tortilla wrap with a touch of mayo, and fresh spinach leaves, instead of chopped lettuce, and a slice of Swiss cheese, then top it off with the burger, etc.) Slightly messier to eat, but way tastier than on the standard “bun.” :D

That makes sense. Like ordering a cheap useless item online when you need a box of a certain size.

No substitutions!

Don’t know why cheese has to be the one ingredient common to almost every fast food sandwich. Whatever it is, I don’t think it’s the ‘real thing.’ Adds nothing to the taste and blanks the flavor of whatever else is on the sandwich. And in one place here, the special includes cheese, but if you ask for it without cheese, you pay full price. Strange marketing brought to you by the ‘cheese people.’

…for which I will gladly pay you Tuesday…

This makes sense if cheeseburgers are on sale.

Cheburger, cheburger, chip, chip. No coke, Pepsi.

There is an actual restaurant not far from me called “Cheeburger, Cheeburger.” They only have cheeseburgers, but if you want a hamburger you can order a “cheeburger, no cheese”.

I’ll have a grilled burger, spiced with garlic salt, onion salt, fresh ground pepper. Medium rare. Topped with muenster cheese, a thin slice of vidalia onion, tomato, bacon, and ketchup.

An order I heard one time….Double cheeseburger….meat and cheese on the side. He got a box with bun and fixings with a second box holding the meat and cheese. He didn’t like eating the meat on bread.

I had a friend who would order a cheeseburger without the meat because they wouldn’t sell her a cheese sandwich. She didn’t want the meat and couldn’t take it off because it was melted to the meat. Go figure.

You realize this is how McDonalds makes you order a hamburger now, right?

Reminds me of a friend who ordered a quesadilla with no cheese.

Never cared for relish on a hot dog, either, but that’s a different story.

“chuckles”

Well he did it…he stumped the cook!

My husband is allergic to dairy and has ordered a Philly cheesesteak without cheese.

That’ll be 25 cents extra…

Except catsup and pickle.

and a Café au lait, hold the cream

Reminds me of the time that guy wanted a burger but the cheeseburger was on sale for cheaper. So – he did the same thing as our intrepid diner in the cartoon!

“Hold the pickles, hold the lettuce, special orders don’t upset us…..”

A long time ago, my brother ordered a plain cheeseburger at a small country restaurant. He got the cheese and the bun, but no burger. The look on his face as he tried to figure out what to say was priceless.

I like a veggie burger extra bacon

I don’t know why American fast food joints and many restaurants call them cheeseburgers when it’s not real cheese. At least Kraft Foods® has the honesty to call Velveeta ( for example ) a processed dairy food product. The cheese slices in most restaurants in the States bear little resemblance to a real, fresh, non-processed cheese.

My daughter asked for a cheeseburger with nothing on it. The server was confused when she asked where the cheese was.

“I’d also like a chicken-salad sandwich on toasted wheat, hold the chicken salad.”

Herman, Mc D’s is now charging $.25 for the slice of cheese, order a hamburger,or they’ll charge you for the cheese you don’t want.