Herman by Jim Unger for December 30, 2022

I sometimes figure that if I drink on an empty stomach, I’ll sober up sooner (drunk faster and sober faster).

I fall down, go kaput.

Dumbest thing ever said! Your stomach doesn’t have a waiting room, alcohol will go to the head of the line!

Yeah, lady! But it doesn’t change much if it’s arsenic…

Cheap drunk

O well … “Live and learn.”

… or perhaps “Don’t live and” … well … “that’s it.”

“Pip pip. Old Chop. Why Beef? Liver and Loin, I always say.” [Smokey Stover]

That must be some of the really good and strong stuff or he has a low tolerance for liquor. Besides, I don’t think he heard her, “I told you so”, after passing out.

Neither one of you look like you’ve ever had an empty stomach.

Alcohol can be absorbed by nearly every part of your body. It starts entering the blood stream while it’s in your mouth. It does not have to make it as far as the intestines where most other things are absorbed.

I wonder that if you swam in the stuff, it would get you drunk. That would be a convenient loophole for people whose beliefs prohibit them from drinking it.

He can barely hold his glass. No way he can hold his liquor.

“The kid’s no Trooper.”

An unheeded warning.

Autumn Leaf cocktail

You change colors and fall to the ground

By the time he’d drunk it, it was no longer empty.

She brings home the bacon and HE can fry it up in a pan‼️‼️‼️

Where’d he get the pangalactic gargleblaster?

At least he’s not curled up in a pool of vomit, like some people I know

I’ll have what the man on the floor is having.

I’ll say it: one tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

The next day the Bobbies arrested her…

How could that stomach be empty.

“I TOLD YOU SO!”

When he said:“One more and I’m out of here.”, he should have said:“One more and I’m out of it.”