Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for November 26, 2014
November 25, 2014
November 27, 2014
Transcript:
Man on stage: I believe the leaving-the-toilet-seat-up issue is covered by both the 4th and 5th commandments. Next question...
Caption: Moses begins to regret including a question and answer period.
Funny. Course, they didn’t even have such luxurious accommodations as a toilet seat way back when those Rules were issued. I’d like someone to explain to me how this relates to either ‘Honor the Sabbath and keep it holy’ or “Honor Your Mother and Father”….
Too bad there were no IP lawyers at the time. The Babylonians would have had those commandments DCMAed off YouStone for copychisel violations in a miliera.
Honour the sabbath….reminds me of when my stepfather, son of rigidly observant Jews, was asked by his mother to pre-tear the toilet paper in preparation for the Sabbath, and lay it in sheets of four squares and the back of the tank. (One is forbidden to tear paper on the sabbath). When we got home from the Friday evening service, she headed to the bathroom and found, to her dismay, that he had merely folded it in four sheet segments. So much for honouring thy mother! For all I know, she just sat there until the sun set on Saturday.
I won’t go into detail on how one “cleaned up”, personally, when finished in case somebody is eating while reading this.-—-Thank you (he typed after putting down his fork).
It wasn’t too long ago that people took the attitude “it doesn’t look like a church” unless it was gothic. The first use of the “gothic arch” was for the cloaca maxima in Rome. That is the connection – or at least one.
Actually, the Q&A period has gone on for the last 3000 years or so. The ten commandments were statutary law, so to speak, but case law was needed to work out the day-to-day details — in fact Moses almost immediately had to appoint judges with the delegated authority to handle such things. Serious, deep, ongoing discussions produced the Talmud a thousand years or so later, and modern industrialization has kept rabbis busy ever since.
Discussing the Bible, even humorously, works a lot better if yoou actually know what’s in it.
I guess the other 5 that were dropped by Moses in history of the World, Pt. I (Behold I give unto you the 15 Commandments [drops one tablet] 10 Commandments) must have included something about not saying anything when the wife/girlfriend forgets to put gas in the car. The male does the same thing…. EXPLOSION!!
This reminds me of the old joke based on the stereotype of Jews bargaining for the best deal.
God was traveling the Earth looking for a chosen people.
He came to the Spartans and said, “Be my chosen people. All you have to do is accept my commandments.” They asked, “Like what?” and God responded, “Thou shalt not kill.” The Spartans said, “No way. We are a warrior race.”
So God went to the Canaanites and said, “Be my chosen people. All you have to do is accept my commandments.” They asked, “Like what?” and God responded, “Thou shalt not commit adultery.” They replied, “We can’t do that; we’re a fertility cult.”
So God went to the Bedouins and said, “Be my chosen people. All you have to do is accept my commandments.” They asked, “Like what?” and God responded, “Thou shalt not steal.” They replied “We wait in hiding to ambush caravans. Such a commandment would put us out of business.”
And then God found Moses, “Be my chosen people. All you have to do is accept my commandments.” Moses asked, “How much do they cost.” God said, “They’re free.” Moses responded, “Good! I’ll take 10.”
As Paul Harvey would have said, “And now you know …………………………….. the rest of the story.”
At the time of Moses, there was no Roman Empire. The Land was called Canaan and then Israel. The would be another 1500 years approx. before the Romans deported most of the Jews and called Israel ‘Palestine’ after the long-defunct Philistines. The Philistines were related to the Romans and the Greeks and were never Arabs.
Moses came long before the Romans. Palestine was not Palestine (it was Canaan), and it was not a province of Rome. You’re thinking post-exile, centuries and centuries later.
Gweedo – It’s legal here !!! – Murray: Proper etiquette required rinsing before and after (and if necessary during) defecation. The sewer had exposed water flowing through fr the purpose.
Argythree almost 10 years ago
Funny. Course, they didn’t even have such luxurious accommodations as a toilet seat way back when those Rules were issued. I’d like someone to explain to me how this relates to either ‘Honor the Sabbath and keep it holy’ or “Honor Your Mother and Father”….
Meh~tdology, fka Pepelaputr almost 10 years ago
The earliest PowerPoint presentation.I like it.
Lunatic almost 10 years ago
Too bad there were no IP lawyers at the time. The Babylonians would have had those commandments DCMAed off YouStone for copychisel violations in a miliera.
Proginoskes almost 10 years ago
In religious matters, the answer to every question is: “Because God said so!!! Now, sit down and shut up!”
StCleve72 almost 10 years ago
George Carlin cuts ’em down from 10 to 2:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CE8ooMBIyC8
Observer fo Irony almost 10 years ago
Now we know the real reason they spent 40 years in the wilderness; to find the loop holes in the commandments.
puddlesplatt almost 10 years ago
if there was a river, you went there, we will gather at the river so forth and so on, that is why fish tast funny.
vwdualnomand almost 10 years ago
too bad, people only pick and choose which commandments they follow.
leons1701 almost 10 years ago
@MeGoNow
Because discussing the history of plumbing is more fun.
dabugger almost 10 years ago
Well, so what; silly myths down to earth or desperate?
magicwalnut almost 10 years ago
Honour the sabbath….reminds me of when my stepfather, son of rigidly observant Jews, was asked by his mother to pre-tear the toilet paper in preparation for the Sabbath, and lay it in sheets of four squares and the back of the tank. (One is forbidden to tear paper on the sabbath). When we got home from the Friday evening service, she headed to the bathroom and found, to her dismay, that he had merely folded it in four sheet segments. So much for honouring thy mother! For all I know, she just sat there until the sun set on Saturday.
Can't Sleep almost 10 years ago
I won’t go into detail on how one “cleaned up”, personally, when finished in case somebody is eating while reading this.-—-Thank you (he typed after putting down his fork).
DavidGBA almost 10 years ago
So he went back and expanded it to 613.
cdnalor almost 10 years ago
When not in use, both the seat and the lid should be down so as to inconvenience both sexes equally.
skyriderwest almost 10 years ago
The Romans didn’t even exist at the time Moses was around. And this wasn’t Palestine, Mt. Sinai is in Egypt.
Perkycat almost 10 years ago
You all crack me up! Funny (and educational) stuff here. Thanks for the laughs.
Say What? Premium Member almost 10 years ago
I rarely see a toilet as a shrine, but more as the holy throne of a home.
hippogriff almost 10 years ago
It wasn’t too long ago that people took the attitude “it doesn’t look like a church” unless it was gothic. The first use of the “gothic arch” was for the cloaca maxima in Rome. That is the connection – or at least one.
QuiteDragon almost 10 years ago
A silly argument. Put the lid down… unless you want spray from flushing all over the room where you, among other things, brush your teeth.
PShaw0423 almost 10 years ago
Actually, the Q&A period has gone on for the last 3000 years or so. The ten commandments were statutary law, so to speak, but case law was needed to work out the day-to-day details — in fact Moses almost immediately had to appoint judges with the delegated authority to handle such things. Serious, deep, ongoing discussions produced the Talmud a thousand years or so later, and modern industrialization has kept rabbis busy ever since.
Discussing the Bible, even humorously, works a lot better if yoou actually know what’s in it.
sarah413 Premium Member almost 10 years ago
I guess the other 5 that were dropped by Moses in history of the World, Pt. I (Behold I give unto you the 15 Commandments [drops one tablet] 10 Commandments) must have included something about not saying anything when the wife/girlfriend forgets to put gas in the car. The male does the same thing…. EXPLOSION!!
dflak almost 10 years ago
This reminds me of the old joke based on the stereotype of Jews bargaining for the best deal.
God was traveling the Earth looking for a chosen people.
He came to the Spartans and said, “Be my chosen people. All you have to do is accept my commandments.” They asked, “Like what?” and God responded, “Thou shalt not kill.” The Spartans said, “No way. We are a warrior race.”
So God went to the Canaanites and said, “Be my chosen people. All you have to do is accept my commandments.” They asked, “Like what?” and God responded, “Thou shalt not commit adultery.” They replied, “We can’t do that; we’re a fertility cult.”
So God went to the Bedouins and said, “Be my chosen people. All you have to do is accept my commandments.” They asked, “Like what?” and God responded, “Thou shalt not steal.” They replied “We wait in hiding to ambush caravans. Such a commandment would put us out of business.”
And then God found Moses, “Be my chosen people. All you have to do is accept my commandments.” Moses asked, “How much do they cost.” God said, “They’re free.” Moses responded, “Good! I’ll take 10.”
As Paul Harvey would have said, “And now you know …………………………….. the rest of the story.”
dottylu almost 10 years ago
Actually, RJJames, I can’t imagine how people can survive the tragedies of life without their faith.
g.iangoodson almost 10 years ago
At the time of Moses, there was no Roman Empire. The Land was called Canaan and then Israel. The would be another 1500 years approx. before the Romans deported most of the Jews and called Israel ‘Palestine’ after the long-defunct Philistines. The Philistines were related to the Romans and the Greeks and were never Arabs.
strictures almost 10 years ago
Didn’t the use the three sea shells?
Spyderred almost 10 years ago
You folks are wonderful – erudite and witty. Great reading.
lmonteros almost 10 years ago
Moses came long before the Romans. Palestine was not Palestine (it was Canaan), and it was not a province of Rome. You’re thinking post-exile, centuries and centuries later.
ChazNCenTex almost 10 years ago
Congratulations Wiley, ahem Mr. Miller sir, on winning the Reuben award. Does it look like the sandwich?
hippogriff almost 10 years ago
Gweedo – It’s legal here !!! – Murray: Proper etiquette required rinsing before and after (and if necessary during) defecation. The sewer had exposed water flowing through fr the purpose.