Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for May 23, 2019

Just like Bonespur’s gullibles.

They were so naive they didn’t know they were naive. But then if you know you’re naive, then you’e not naive anymore.

And the money doesn’t “trickle down” from the rich.

There is a difference between bribing the school which then passes along the benefits of the ill-got gains to all the students (in the form of new buildings, scholarships, etc.) and bribing individuals who work for the school, who then pass along the benefits of the ill-got gains to their family members in the form of swimming pools and mink coats, etc.

Of course enough socialism would free schools from thinking about money all the time instead of education. As it stands, college presidents probably think about money even more constantly than congress critters.

Yeah, I know that I should be outraged about this latest “scandal” but, really, do people honestly think this hasn’t been common practice for, like, ever?

This is known as shock therapy.

“When Muriel related [insert global warming factoid]”

That’s what’s different about this scandal. Rich Person A applies the bribe the traditional way: s/he hands a check to the school for what to them is petty cash, and is officially full/partial/final funding for a project or a building (to have Rich Person A’s name on it) and somehow Rich Person A’s spoiled, stupid, brat is admitted to the school and won’t be kicked out for even serious infractions. In many cases Rich Person A can even write the bribe off of their taxes. In this case, Rich Person X sent the bribe to a fixer who got the spoiled, stupid, brat into school using something like a athletic scholarship even if the brat has never even been a spectator at that particular sport. The school is annoyed ‘cause they don’t see a dime, and they’re stuck with the brat, and the brat is using up space they could have used to reel in a brat from Rich Person B, who also wanted to pay the traditional bribe but couldn’t ‘cause the school was out of space. Unless the school bounced a peon’s child to give that slot to Rich Person B’s brat.

I wonder who they forgot to bribe? I mean usually the bribery is more effective than that. I suppose they forgot to pay off the investigator with a great price on a new house or a ‘used’ car price on a new BMW or season tickets to his favorite team of choice he could ‘win’ at a raffle.

Had Muriel unloaded that info at the Thoroughly Skeptic Club, the response might have been, Can’t we just one time have fresh bagels at a meeting?

Who do I bribe to up my “adversity” factor for my SAT?

I wholly support encouraging a system that allows “people without privilege” (how’s that for a new term), to be able to compete for college admission, but I don’t think the adversity factor is the best way to do this.

Which might explain Cornell’s 30% freshman drop-out rate.

When Muriel told the group that career politicians tend to be corrupt regardless of party affiliation.

I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m naive. I always assume everyone knows that things like this have always happened. I’m always shocked when it gets front page headlines, as if nothing like this has ever happened before. News ,Yes. Lead story, No.

Of course the current problem is that the schools did not get the bribe money. This is why they are steamed.

No naiveté, just shock: “Ralph Northam in Blackface? An Inquiry Ends Without Answers”

Socrates said, “I am the wisest man alive, for I know one thing, and that is that I know nothing.”

Indeed. The chief mistake of these benighted fools is that they didn’t follow standard procedure. Instead of making a “charitable contribution” to an appropriate endowment thoughtfully selected by the board of regents, they went and involved an unsavory middleman, not to mention lowly employees like athletic coaches and exam proctors. Just not cricket at all; simply unforgivable.

(Overheard at an exclusive golf resort )… " My kid is so dumb, I’m going to have to pay for a whole new library to get him into my alma mater! "

Kind of like Forrest Gump?

Stupid and naive tread the same thin line.

Wiley, your bears aren’t eating NEAR enough people these days!

…and it’s not just Ive league schools. Rich folks donate to schools all the time to get their kids in. I know of some examples.

If taxes, charity money etc actually went where it was supposed to go, the average person would be better off.

And yet nobody, no matter how rich, feels the need to bribe elementary and secondary schools to get their kids in. Why is that? Oh, yeah, it’s because they take everybody!

And Donald Trump can shoot someone on 5th Avenue and his bass will claim that it was suicide.

Is a football stadium considered a bribe?

But not this way. This was different. They lied to get in and bribed those who prep them to get in. At least the endowments don’t displace worthy students in doing so. Unlike what was done.

Most people aren’t necessarily good or bad. They’re just naive.

Dr. Dre gave a lot ($70 million, I think) to USC, then mentioned that his kid got in without any shenanigans. Then retracted it when somebody pointed out that he probably did bribe her way in, even if he hadn’t thought of it that way. Nice when a person of color gets to do the “big legal bribe thing” like that.

Wait – that really happens?

So then “because we’ve always done it this way” is a legitimate excuse for wrongdoing?

The recent scandal wasn’t about bribing schools. It was about cheating schools out of the bribes they’ve come to feel entitled to.

Great cartoon…. cuts right to the bone about our hypocrisy.

How the hell do you think W got in to Harvard?