Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for June 22, 2019

Better than robbing graves, to much work.

Not much left after the funeral expenses, I’d think.

somebody is gonna be cross.

It’s a wicked plot.

After making arrangements for both parents, I’d say the real grave robbers are in the funeral business.

He might come to grief there.

For such a grave offence he could end up six foot under.

He’s in the right neighbourhood if he tried that with me. I’d bury him.

The real grave robbers are the funeral directors who up-sell you a more expensive coffin during your time of grief.

Once he’s caught, it’ll be his funeral …

Aggravating.

That’s one serious robber!

Eobber’s not grave – he’s smiling!

Sorry, but why is this funny?

Grave robber: a robber who takes his work too glumly and seriously.

Consider donating your body to the nearest medical college, and later they will send you the leftovers cremated.

I know of a retired mortician who designed a new casket to sell and it’s made of plexiglass. Do not know if it will catch on.

Technically, that’s grave pocket picking, since the perp didn’t threaten the victim.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robbery

Prior to my dad passing I made arrangements with a local funeral home. He wanted to be cremated so no need for a fancy casket. My father was a vet, so we were escorted to the cemetery by the Rolling Thunder Veteran Motorcycle Club (we of course made a donation to the club), the truckers on the freeway lined up 4 across so people would not pass until we turned off. We had his internment ceremony at the national cemetery here with a horse drawn caisson and rifle salute by members of the armed services. Everything at the cemetery was free. It is possible to have a very nice and moving ceremony without spending a fortune, but it does take some pre-planning. BTW my dad was not someone special, just a GI who did his duty to his family and country, no matter the cost.

Before I read the punch line, I thought it was someone pranking a poor, grieving husband!

Why is it that when a Native American digs up a white person’s grave, it’s called ‘Grave Robbing’, but when a white person digs up a Native American’s grave it’s called ‘Archeology’?

https://www.corsicanadailysun.com/news/jury-finds-grave-robber-guilty/article_9631ebb6-92c7-11e9-a7ec-0392a99df1fd.html Its not funny.

Certainly a grave subject.

Notice the perp has a red ball cap on.

My instructions to my family when I go is to place me in a Construction-size Glad Bag, call over our friends, build a bonfire (the bag in the center) and cook hotdogs. That’s right after they fill me with popcorn kernels.

There are more ghoulish things happening that aren’t talked about, like the bones of Alistair Cooke being snatched…..

http://www.nbcnews.com/id/10574333/ns/us_news-crime_and_courts/t/tv-host-alistair-cookes-bones-allegedly-stolen/#.XQ5-SS3MwUE

He doesn’t look ‘grave’; looks pretty happy to me!

Now in search of my dearly departed money.

For those who mention problems with funeral plans that still cost extra, or who are doubtful that they won’t have to pay extra when the time comes, I think mine is good because I was given a list of everything that I was or wasn’t requesting and paying for, along with the cost. Only if my siblings order something that wasn’t originally purchased or a service that wasn’t originally paid for would they have to pay. I feel confident things will go right. There have probably been many unscrupulous plans in the past, as people have mentioned, that did cost extra, and now it’s harder to get away with that sort of nonsense, and maybe there are some sort of government regulations.

I’ve always thought that a grave robber was the opposite of a jocular robber.

I.R.S. agents are always in action

Mr. Miller is getting close to Stephan Pastis’ territory here.