Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for May 01, 2023

This reminds me of a split panel cartoon. One side was labeled "NY health food’, and featured a food stand proclaiming “Burgers, now with 50% less bug parts”, while the other was ‘CA junk food’, with a food stand labeled ‘Veggie wraps, with extra salt’

The only ‘stuff I don’t want my wife to know I am eating’ is her secret stash of chocolate.

And we’ll eat fat, fat, fat, ’til wifey takes the plastic away.

My daughter is vegan, so when my wife and I visit her up at FSU we often go to her favorite restaurants and as a carnivore at heart I often go to Sonny’s or Dreamland BBQ and get my fix of ribs before we go there or get take out to the motel as we often make it a weekend up in Tallahassee. She often wonders why I am content with a couple of beers and something pretty light off of the menu. She has a Smiths T-Shirt my wife gave her which is now an antique; the one that states; “I do not eat my friends”…. She has good points about why our society should go vegetarian or vegan but I am beyond redemption, simply love the pork, lobster, crawfish , other seafood, pizza with real cheese and other things simply non-Vegan…..

!

They’ve all got the “shouldn’t be eating that” body, too.

Wiley, you are the king of Comics! love you

Colon cancer among young people is increasing and no one understands why. Are you kidding? Take juicing, get rid of all that nasty fiber, I hate using my teeth. And I won’t eat any veg, only fatburgers on soft soft buns.

Do you really want to have a place like this right out in the open?

Won’t that (at least eventually) defeat the purpose/goal?

A cart that sold all the things that supposedly are bad for you would stretch around the block.

This is how my father-in-law knew what to eat. He glanced over to his wife who gave him “the look.” He had a heart condition, diabetes and for a while and ulcer. He said that with all that he was not allowed to eat, he would die of malnutrition.

Nature survives by being balanced. Carnivores and omnivores are needed to keep that balance. As a part of nature, humans evolved as omnivores — that is what our teeth and digestive systems are designed for. That is the diet that provides the nutrition needed by our bodies and minds. We can, of course, when we work at it, find alternative foods (and pills and tablets) that provide the nutrients available in meats and even in plants. People can survive without meat and even without green vegetables. But they need to work at it to locate good substitutes to keep their bodies working well.

And, naturally (no pun intended), as humans we have developed the ability to grow/raise the foods we want so we no longer need to forage and hunt day to day. We have the luxury of choosing foods that we like — that taste and smell good — rather than just what is available. And, unfortunately, we also have the luxury of eating “stuff” just because it tastes and smells good and not because we need the nutrients. But our teeth and digestive systems and our bodies still expect and need an omnivore-ish diet to keep working well.

Finders keepers.

Did you ever notice that a lot of things we don’t want to admit eating comes with a lot of condiments to make it taste better?

The founder and real brains behind the enterprise: The Queen of Commerce.

And the wife, who is concerned about his health, wonders why hubby isn’t able to lose weight.

One sausage with mustard, relish, onions, sauerkraut and hot peppers!

Don’t forget the after-diner mints. :)

So this wife thing? It’s like a mother, but without the maternal concern? Am I getting this right?

And men are essentially three year olds who need somebody to take care of them?

These “Take my wife, please!” gags are kinda dated and sad, Wiley.

Went to an arts and crafts festival last weekend and there were a bunch of food trucks – only most of them had huge long lines, so I didn’t try any Blintzes, Kabobs, Burritos, Korean BBQ, Chicken & Waffles, Southern BBQ, Hard Apple Cider with Blueberries, Artisanal Breads or whatever a “Pizza Cone” is. But there WERE short lines for the almost-sold-out German Bakery that was out of napkins (I was extra careful eating a piece of German Chocolate Cake), a Chick-Fil-A (got a $7 sandwich) and a cup of strawberries from the Kiwanis booth.

Oddly enough, I was just thinking about using target marketing with my concert band. Not that I’ll have any say in the matter as I’m only one member of the board.

The wife doesn’t like me eating out period. If I listened to her, I’d probably lose weight, but my tastebuds would go on strike

“You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.” — Woody Allen

The Queen of targeted marketing is on the other side of the street. The pushcart selling chocolate to the women.

When my wife goes on a binge, she usually confesses. That’s my “Get out of jail free” card.

“You had it. Why can’t I?

Had to find it in my collection. This is actually an anniversary strip… go back ten years to May 1 2013 ;)

LOLOL!!!!!

Marketing. Genius.

Substances too numerous (and ponderous) to mention.

The wife will find out eventually. When they have to go to the emergency room after a heart attack or a bad CT scan that shows colon cancer. Both happened to my husband and, Yes, he does eat all that junk.

Yep. Dad always has/had Don’t Tell Your Mom burgers. Don’t Tell Your Mom donuts. Don’t Tell Your Mom pretzels. Don’t Tell Your Mom fruit hand pies. Don’t Tell Your Mom candy bars. Don’t Tell Your Mom . . .

I’d reckon if that little secret got out, there’d be a picket line a mile long – and not just with wives.