Off the Mark by Mark Parisi for September 28, 2018

Gasp, the very perfidy of some people.

Thinks (Guilty of all charges, I just hope they don’t find out that I drink milk from the carton!)

Me, me, me, me.

I have been skipping ads lately. I’m doomed!

Wore white after Labour Day.

“Removed tag from furniture under penalty of law.”

Put ketchup on a hot dog.

You must be 18 to enter! – whoops, don’t have to worry about that one anymore.

How about never patronizes a place that calls a large cup a “venti”? And refuses to call the smallest size they have a medium.

I’m with the first woman. I can’t order anything at Starbucks: I don’t speak the language.

The second one should be a crime, but I am glad it’s not. I believe in security through obscurity. Since I am not Bank of America, IRS, Target, Sony or some other big name, professional hackers aren’t after me.

As for the second-rate hackers, it’s like the two men in the woods who were being chased by a bear. One stops to put on running shoes. The other says, “You’re crazy; you can’t outrun a bear.” The other replies, “I don’t have to outrun the bear; I have to outrun you.”

There is a lot of low-hanging fruit out there before they get to me.

Had white wine with red meat.

Guilty as charged. Me: I’d like a small coke. Them: We only have Medium, Large and Ginormous. Me: It would seem the Medium would be the smallest you have. Them: Yes. Me: Then I’ll take the SMALL one!

Yesterday I heard a guy ask for a “large, Venti coffee; 3 creams” I wondered if I heard him right but the lady went on like that was normal.

Gives up before finally getting to "The one weird tip doctors don’t want you to know aboit. "

I still am waiting until Xmas before I update to Mojave. Have to wait for the peripherals to catch up.

Me too. AdBlock plus blocked 11 ads!!

I’m wondering about the perp’s number in panel 4. 1987 – 2018. Does that mean anything,Mark?

Expired coupons…it’s worth a try.

Panel 4 looks like some guy from “South Park”.

I should have refused the last update for my 2-year-old Android phone… it really slowed down and uses up battery too fast!

I am willing to do updates, but Windows 10 doesn’t allow any flexibility. Earlier versions allowed you to select which ones you wanted (if I didn’t have Office, why should I want updates), or take them in small bites instead of big batches.

. . . how did Luann get arrested? :’(

Upper right is why I’m using Linux instead of Microsoft.

Given that there is no autumn where I lived—and no seasons at all where I am now—I’m 100% guilty of the last one.

The top left mugshot is Luann

Luann? Is that you?