Off the Mark by Mark Parisi for September 28, 2018

And if you’re guilty of all four, you get booted of Gocom

Gasp, the very perfidy of some people.

Thinks (Guilty of all charges, I just hope they don’t find out that I drink milk from the carton!)

Me, me, me, me.

I have been skipping ads lately. I’m doomed!

Wore white after Labour Day.

“Removed tag from furniture under penalty of law.”

Put ketchup on a hot dog.

You must be 18 to enter! – whoops, don’t have to worry about that one anymore.

How about never patronizes a place that calls a large cup a “venti”? And refuses to call the smallest size they have a medium.

I’m with the first woman. I can’t order anything at Starbucks: I don’t speak the language.

The second one should be a crime, but I am glad it’s not. I believe in security through obscurity. Since I am not Bank of America, IRS, Target, Sony or some other big name, professional hackers aren’t after me.

As for the second-rate hackers, it’s like the two men in the woods who were being chased by a bear. One stops to put on running shoes. The other says, “You’re crazy; you can’t outrun a bear.” The other replies, “I don’t have to outrun the bear; I have to outrun you.”

There is a lot of low-hanging fruit out there before they get to me.

Had white wine with red meat.

Guilty as charged. Me: I’d like a small coke. Them: We only have Medium, Large and Ginormous. Me: It would seem the Medium would be the smallest you have. Them: Yes. Me: Then I’ll take the SMALL one!

Yesterday I heard a guy ask for a “large, Venti coffee; 3 creams” I wondered if I heard him right but the lady went on like that was normal.

Gives up before finally getting to "The one weird tip doctors don’t want you to know aboit. "

I still am waiting until Xmas before I update to Mojave. Have to wait for the peripherals to catch up.

Me too. AdBlock plus blocked 11 ads!!

I’m wondering about the perp’s number in panel 4. 1987 – 2018. Does that mean anything,Mark?

Expired coupons…it’s worth a try.

Panel 4 looks like some guy from “South Park”.

I should have refused the last update for my 2-year-old Android phone… it really slowed down and uses up battery too fast!

I am willing to do updates, but Windows 10 doesn’t allow any flexibility. Earlier versions allowed you to select which ones you wanted (if I didn’t have Office, why should I want updates), or take them in small bites instead of big batches.

. . . how did Luann get arrested? :’(

Upper right is why I’m using Linux instead of Microsoft.

Given that there is no autumn where I lived—and no seasons at all where I am now—I’m 100% guilty of the last one.

The top left mugshot is Luann

Luann? Is that you?