Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for December 16, 2014
Transcript:
Rat: Hey, Victor the Vegan. How goes it? Victor: I condemn thee for putting honey on your toast. Honey is an animal product and you are scum. Rat: Said Victor while sitting on a leather diner stool. Victor: Forgive me, Great Cow in the Sky! Rat: Can he squirt some milk in my coffee?
Templo S.U.D. about 10 years ago
Oh, how shameful. (Is honey really vegan even though bees which are animals make it, not made from them?)
Sherlock Watson about 10 years ago
I sincerely hope there’s no Great Cow in the Sky — my umbrella isn’t up to the job.
Partyalldatyme about 10 years ago
I love all God’s creatures. Many of them are delicious!
danfromfreddybeach about 10 years ago
How can "He squirt milk? “He” might be all powerful but only females have that power.
cdoorn98 about 10 years ago
Victor’s behavior is udderly ridiculous.
dadoctah about 10 years ago
And let’s not even get started on silk….
bornfree99 about 10 years ago
Rat adds milk from a male bovine to his coffee?
Sisyphos about 10 years ago
Good to see Rat bring Victor down! Too bad Rat doesn’t know his she-cows (and heifers) from his he-bulls….Isn’t it peculiar for that vegan to visualize his deity as a “great cow” in the sky? Wouldn’t he more likely worship kudzu, or wild artichokes, or maybe sunflowers?
jmarkoff2 about 10 years ago
When I first heard my mother talk about “PETA people,” I misheard it as “pita people;” I thought it referred to vegans who were so obsessed with staying on track that they would swear to eat only pita bread. This is a misunderstanding worthy of Pig.
inshadowz about 10 years ago
Whatever a he-cow squirts in your coffee is not milk, Rat.
jbmlaw01 about 10 years ago
Is “Victor the Vegan” based on one of Stephan’s friends, a la “Jef the Bicyclist”?
emjaycee about 10 years ago
Visualize whirled peas.
puddlesplatt about 10 years ago
reminds me of a joke about Merkin and his
KEA about 10 years ago
I don’t see why some people think animal life is superior to plant life.
Strod about 10 years ago
The Great Cow in the Sky? I can almost hear Clare Torry mooing at a cloud where Richard Wright is playing the celestial piano.
Kaputnik about 10 years ago
Pretty classy diner if even their stools are leather covered. You’d think vinyl would be more likely. Of course, Victor may not have thought of that yet.I once asked a vegan I know if vegans would eat honey. I mean, I know they don’t like using animal products, but banning insect secretions seems a bit extreme. She said that some vegans would and others wouldn’t. It didn’t occur to me to ask her about shellac.
Qiset about 10 years ago
No animal is harmed in the making of honey and it isn’t actually “produced” by the bee like milk is from a cow. So is it ok for a vegan to eat?
Brown Leghorn about 10 years ago
Leave it to Rat to say the right thing in that situation. Only an idiot that thought honey was the same as animal flesh would try to milk a bull! As luck would have it he might encounter Ferdinhand!
Gokie5 about 10 years ago
“How did the first person ever discover how to milk a cow …"I imagine he or she observed how calves “milked a cow” and imitated them? Ew.
rshive about 10 years ago
I’m unrepentant. Many baby polyesters died to make my clothes.
155088 about 10 years ago
More Crocs, dammit!
David Rickard Premium Member about 10 years ago
Well no, he cannot squirt milk
DaveBNM about 10 years ago
Yum, bee puke on my toast!
Sherlock Watson about 10 years ago
Oh, now you’re just milking it for all it’s worth …:Actually, I was talking about something else that comes out of cows, both male and female.
Sailor46 USN 65-95 about 10 years ago
One of the small pleasures of Life is when I engage a person of extreme beliefs, be it Far Left or Far Right, is to do or say something to cause them to begin to Froth at the Mouth.
Liverlips McCracken Premium Member about 10 years ago
Hey Rat! Cream in your coffee?Not lately.
dbmeyer99 about 10 years ago
Not eating meat is a choice… eating meat is an instinct and they’ve served me well so far… if my instincts tell me to eat bacon, i’m gonna eat bacon.
Mike Parsons Premium Member about 10 years ago
Have to agree, db…
Even swine will eat bacon, for cryin’ out loud. We eat what Mother Nature has designed us to eat.Humans are omnivores, and environment providing, usually have many dietary choices.Key word – choices. Morality? Ask the pig eating bacon.
Number Three about 10 years ago
I’m not vegan myself but I have nothing against them at all.
“To each their own”
xxx
angelfiredragon about 10 years ago
I thought bee’s were more along the lines of insects, not animals…therefore its an insect product not animal. I also thought vegan think that the best alternative is to eat insects and stuff too?
mbzylnf2 about 10 years ago
No, that’s adding a middleman.
mrcomicsfan about 10 years ago
Pastis forgets people who rescue dogs. A noble pursuit, but the loudest group of people on earth.
Mary McNeil Premium Member about 10 years ago
I doubt if HE is a cow, Rat.
sdjamieson Premium Member about 10 years ago
He?
claire de la lune. about 10 years ago
“Great cow in the sky.”That was one of the best lines I have read in awhile.
Fido (aka Felix Rex) about 10 years ago
Bee Barf — nature’s cure-all.
Brass Orchid Premium Member about 10 years ago
Moral superiority grows old quickly.The natural result is advanced use of cosmetics and days spent in the mirror, patching up the seams.
jnnydnti about 10 years ago
Um, the milk from a “he” cow might taste a little different than what Rat’s used to.
Then again, maybe that’s what he’s after. Something new, something different. Something spunky.
knight1192a over 9 years ago
Loose the clothes too, hypocrite Viktor.
Patman9990 over 8 years ago
Am I the only one that finds it weird to put honey on toast?
BOSFLASH over 5 years ago
Punishment by kale lashing.
NeilCopeland over 5 years ago
She…
SuperCharged5- almost 3 years ago
I don’t understand why vegans are so against honey. no harm comes from bees by taking honey, they still have enough honey to survive and thrive, and heck, they LET you take their honey. if they didn’t like it in their artificial hives, they’d just leave.
Snuffles [Previously Helikitty] over 2 years ago
Bees are insects, so does it really count as animal products?
eric_harris_76 about 2 years ago
“He”?
I don’t think you’re going to get milk.
alantain over 1 year ago
So, do vegans wash and brush their teeth? Because they’re killing millions of living creatures.
eric_harris_76 about 1 year ago
If “the great cow in the sky” squirts milk into Rat’s coffee, what he squirts won’t be milk.
Rat isn’t very clueful about cattle, is he?