I’m over eighteen — by twenty years — and I still don’t ketchup on my hot dogs. I’m more of into mustard and grilled onions. Also occasionally J. Dawgs sauce from a small Utah-based hot dog franchise.
This is the first hot dog joke I remember learning:
Hot Dogs in America
Two immigrants have just arrived in the United States and one says to the other, “I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs.”
“Odd,” her companion replies, “but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do.”
Nodding emphatically, one of the immigrants points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk toward the cart.
“Two dogs, please,” she says.
The vendor is only too pleased to oblige, wraps both hot dogs in foil and hands them over the counter.
Excited, the companions hurry to a bench and begin to unwrap their “dogs.”
One of them opens the foil and begins to blush. Staring at it for a moment, she turns to her friend and whispers cautiously, “What part of the dog did you get?”
The hot dog vendor hands over the sausage and bun with all the trimmings, and the Buddhist hands over a twenty. The vendor pockets it, and goes on to help another customer.
The Buddhist asks “Where’s my change?” and the vendor replies “change must come from within”.
A gun then extends from the Buddhist’s chest and he asks again.
The vendor says “Whoa, whoa, whoa man, what about inner piece?
Well, I don’t want to exhaust the topic, so I’ll close with this one:
A guy goes into a luncheonette and orders a hamburger and a hot dog. A few minutes later, the waitress puts a plate in front of him with an open bun on it, pulls a hamburger out of her armpit, and tosses it on the bun.
First, a personal note: my professional duties are often going to prevent me from posting every night for awhile. Throw in a cruise or two, and I’ll be elsewhere. I’ll post when I can, of course, and when I’m Inspired — although you already know my inspiration often expires before it gets posted…
Posting cornball humor on RBION is one of my favorite things to do, and while I haven’t been at it as long as our Official Flounder (I got that from Ivar’s Acres of Clams) SteveSilver48, has been posting, I’ve still been posting here a long time. I’ll be back posting soon, but I’ll be at least glancing at comments pretty-much ever night…
Anyhow, on to the corn patch:
A comedian ventriloquist (aren’t they all?) is performing one night, his dummy making disparaging remarks about the audience as ventriloquists’ dummies often do. As the dummy seems to concentrate on women with a particular hair color, one such woman strides on stage and starts screaming: “You have no right to make fun of us like that. We don’t find it humorous at all!”
The ventriloquist begins apologizing for offending the woman with that particular hair color. “I’m sorry, Miss; I” – he begins, but she interrupts him, pointing her finger in his face. “Shut up!" she yells. "I’m not talking to you!”
Bad habits will ketchup with you as bad puns have just caught up with me! A grown-up hot dog lover will have mustard the courage to relish the taste of the hot dog all by itself. (Now go read Silver.)
According to the Ketchup and Mustard Council, it’s preferable and perfectly fine to consume your condiments with hot dogs and various other meat patties.
Ummmm….why shouldn’t adults put ketchup on their hot dogs? Not that I would. I’m not big on ketchup except on fast food burgers. And is this just limited to hot dogs or are they saying adults shouldn’t use ketchup at all?
Well I for one think all angels are quite different and unique in many ways. Take their wingspan for example… what’s that? Oh, angles, not angels. Never mind. ~ Emily Litella
Take cafe, may disgraced baseball hotdog Pete “Hey I Didn’t Bet That Much And Others Did More Than Me And Worse Stuff” Rosord be with you, and gesundheit.
Screw those people, and everyone else. I’ll eat my hot dogs any blasted way I want. Mustard, fine? Ketchup, BAD? WHATS UP WITH THAT? Also steak sauce is great, but steak with ketchup is death penalty worthy? Forget it, I’ll eat any way I LIKE, thank you
The New York State Barge Canal. There is a preserved stretch of the original Erie Canal near there somewhere. I lived in Fairport for some time as a child.
Once upon a time there were two brothers. One was lost at sea, the other was seen putting ketchup on a hotdog in Chicago. Neither body was ever recovered!
When my son was four he told this joke to a British Coldstream Guard at the Tower in London – and he smiled!‘Why did the dog lie in the sun?’ ‘He wanted to be a hotdog’.
This whole no ketchup on hot dogs is just ridiculous. My favorite is ketchup, mustard, onions and relish! Also the Chicago is killer. However, I no longer eat meat — but there are a lot of close alternatives. Hot dogs are mostly smoke and seasoning flavor, anyways. The trick with the meat-free versions is to fry them in a pan with some butter!
Cool Hand Luke Premium Member about 2 years ago
Well the National Hot Dog & Sausage guys can kiss my lily white backside!
monkeysky about 2 years ago
What do you folks like on your hot dogs?
(I don’t eat beef or pork anymore, so it’s a bit moot for me, but I’ve always preferred brats anyway)
Templo S.U.D. about 2 years ago
I’m over eighteen — by twenty years — and I still don’t ketchup on my hot dogs. I’m more of into mustard and grilled onions. Also occasionally J. Dawgs sauce from a small Utah-based hot dog franchise.
Charlie Fogwhistle about 2 years ago
This is the first hot dog joke I remember learning:
Hot Dogs in America
Two immigrants have just arrived in the United States and one says to the other, “I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs.”
“Odd,” her companion replies, “but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do.”
Nodding emphatically, one of the immigrants points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk toward the cart.
“Two dogs, please,” she says.
The vendor is only too pleased to oblige, wraps both hot dogs in foil and hands them over the counter.
Excited, the companions hurry to a bench and begin to unwrap their “dogs.”
One of them opens the foil and begins to blush. Staring at it for a moment, she turns to her friend and whispers cautiously, “What part of the dog did you get?”
Charlie Fogwhistle about 2 years ago
says “Make me one with everything”.
The hot dog vendor hands over the sausage and bun with all the trimmings, and the Buddhist hands over a twenty. The vendor pockets it, and goes on to help another customer.
The Buddhist asks “Where’s my change?” and the vendor replies “change must come from within”.
A gun then extends from the Buddhist’s chest and he asks again.
The vendor says “Whoa, whoa, whoa man, what about inner piece?
The Buddhist replies “This is my inner piece”.
Charlie Fogwhistle about 2 years ago
Well, I don’t want to exhaust the topic, so I’ll close with this one:
A guy goes into a luncheonette and orders a hamburger and a hot dog. A few minutes later, the waitress puts a plate in front of him with an open bun on it, pulls a hamburger out of her armpit, and tosses it on the bun.
The guy says, “What the heck was that all about?”
She says, “I was just keeping it warm for you.”
He says, “Cancel my hot dog.”
Until next time.
JanBic Premium Member about 2 years ago
There is no authority with the right to tell me what I can put on my hot dog.
eromlig about 2 years ago
First, a personal note: my professional duties are often going to prevent me from posting every night for awhile. Throw in a cruise or two, and I’ll be elsewhere. I’ll post when I can, of course, and when I’m Inspired — although you already know my inspiration often expires before it gets posted…
Posting cornball humor on RBION is one of my favorite things to do, and while I haven’t been at it as long as our Official Flounder (I got that from Ivar’s Acres of Clams) SteveSilver48, has been posting, I’ve still been posting here a long time. I’ll be back posting soon, but I’ll be at least glancing at comments pretty-much ever night…
Anyhow, on to the corn patch:
A comedian ventriloquist (aren’t they all?) is performing one night, his dummy making disparaging remarks about the audience as ventriloquists’ dummies often do. As the dummy seems to concentrate on women with a particular hair color, one such woman strides on stage and starts screaming: “You have no right to make fun of us like that. We don’t find it humorous at all!”
The ventriloquist begins apologizing for offending the woman with that particular hair color. “I’m sorry, Miss; I” – he begins, but she interrupts him, pointing her finger in his face. “Shut up!" she yells. "I’m not talking to you!”
therese_callahan2002 about 2 years ago
Nonsense! I’m 60, and I put ketchup on my hot dogs.
jmolay161 about 2 years ago
Bad habits will ketchup with you as bad puns have just caught up with me! A grown-up hot dog lover will have mustard the courage to relish the taste of the hot dog all by itself. (Now go read Silver.)
hakuin about 2 years ago
According to the Ketchup and Mustard Council, it’s preferable and perfectly fine to consume your condiments with hot dogs and various other meat patties.
Copy-&-Paste about 2 years ago
“You have the right to remain silent. Any more ketchup can & will be used against you in a court of law…”
Bilan about 2 years ago
I’ve never heard of the National Hot Dog and Sausage Council, but I’ve always agreed with them.
bookworm0812 about 2 years ago
Ummmm….why shouldn’t adults put ketchup on their hot dogs? Not that I would. I’m not big on ketchup except on fast food burgers. And is this just limited to hot dogs or are they saying adults shouldn’t use ketchup at all?
Huckleberry Hiroshima about 2 years ago
Well I for one think all angels are quite different and unique in many ways. Take their wingspan for example… what’s that? Oh, angles, not angels. Never mind. ~ Emily Litella
Take cafe, may disgraced baseball hotdog Pete “Hey I Didn’t Bet That Much And Others Did More Than Me And Worse Stuff” Rosord be with you, and gesundheit.
papajim545 about 2 years ago
Screw those people, and everyone else. I’ll eat my hot dogs any blasted way I want. Mustard, fine? Ketchup, BAD? WHATS UP WITH THAT? Also steak sauce is great, but steak with ketchup is death penalty worthy? Forget it, I’ll eat any way I LIKE, thank you
david Long Premium Member about 2 years ago
Chicago dog, one if not the best IMHO, no ketchup.
Totalloser Premium Member about 2 years ago
Hot Dogs should only have mustard and sauerkraut, ketchup is for hamburgers
artegal about 2 years ago
How about you do what makes you happy, and the National Hot Dog and Sausage Council can get bent?
AlienHillbilly about 2 years ago
Nobody tells me what to put on my sausage!!!!!
bunwarpgazoo Premium Member about 2 years ago
The New York State Barge Canal. There is a preserved stretch of the original Erie Canal near there somewhere. I lived in Fairport for some time as a child.
Carl Rennhack Premium Member about 2 years ago
Once upon a time there were two brothers. One was lost at sea, the other was seen putting ketchup on a hotdog in Chicago. Neither body was ever recovered!
Carl Rennhack Premium Member about 2 years ago
Each one of those 9 tickets is worth $1,000,000. If any of the holders are disappointed, they can always send the money to ME!
198.23.5.11 about 2 years ago
So much stuff is put on hot dogs in Chicago you wonder if there IS a hot dog somewhere on the bottom.
Dark mustard for me—-and where’s the picallili?
dv1093 about 2 years ago
The bridge angle item – I don’t “get it” at all.
MuddyUSA Premium Member about 2 years ago
Someone always is one number short!
poppacapsmokeblower about 2 years ago
Please explain what angles are we talking about on the bridge, and why that was necessary, or what it accomplished (other than entry here).
heathcliff2 about 2 years ago
Down with the National Hot Dog and Sausage Council.
Snuffles [Previously Helikitty] about 2 years ago
I haven’t eaten ketchup on Hotdogs since I was… I think Six!
paranormal about 2 years ago
Does thew NHDASC have anything against jelly or syrup???
hsawlrae about 2 years ago
Ketchup is made from tomatoes, tomatoes are a nightshade plant.
Stephen Gilberg about 2 years ago
AIUI, ketchup is slightly less bad for you than other condiments. I prefer mustard on my dogs, but I won’t judge you for differing.
MissScarlet Premium Member about 2 years ago
When my son was four he told this joke to a British Coldstream Guard at the Tower in London – and he smiled!‘Why did the dog lie in the sun?’ ‘He wanted to be a hotdog’.
MissScarlet Premium Member about 2 years ago
https://www.gocomics.com/thatababy/2018/06/15
namelocdet about 2 years ago
I 100% agree with the N.H.D.S.C.
aerilim about 2 years ago
Institutions like that National Hot Dog Council thing are the reason people rebel against the establishment. Liberate the Hot Dog!!!
comicalUser about 2 years ago
This whole no ketchup on hot dogs is just ridiculous. My favorite is ketchup, mustard, onions and relish! Also the Chicago is killer. However, I no longer eat meat — but there are a lot of close alternatives. Hot dogs are mostly smoke and seasoning flavor, anyways. The trick with the meat-free versions is to fry them in a pan with some butter!
pbr50138 about 2 years ago
Ketchup on a hotdog? Ewww!!!
Gernsback about 2 years ago
I prefer mustard, anyway
Diamonds&Roses Premium Member over 1 year ago
I don’t get why people make such a huge deal about people putting ketchup on hotdogs. It just seems a little silly to me.