The Born Loser by Art and Chip Sansom for May 12, 2023

Also spracht the Acid Queen.

Brutus is an idiot, but so are many, many people. I read that A&W tried to promote 1/3 lb burgers, but it was a failure because the idiotic public thought 1/4 lb burgers were bigger.

Shhh, Brutus!!

Only if it’s Bud Light!

Brutus; “You’re no Mensa candidate yourself, Ma GARGOYLE!”

Light beer has kind of an amber color, dark beers are, well, dark in color.

This reminds me of a children’s puzzle. “Which weighs more? A pound of butter flies, or a pound of dragon flies?”

So much for the tastes great/less filling debate.

Actually it is, since the ethanol molecule is heavier than water and light beer contains less of it. So there!

Oh, come on. Everyone knows lite beer has more lumens.

A guy goes into his proctologist’s office for his first exam. The doctor’s new nurse took him to an examining room and told him to get undressed and have a seat until the doctor could see him. She said that he would only be a few minutes.

After putting on the gown that she gave him he sat down. While waiting he observed that there were three items on the stand next to him. A Tube of K-Y jelly, a rubber glove and a beer .

When the doctor finally came in he said “Look Doc, I’m a little confused. This is my first exam. I know what the K-Y is for and I know what the glove is for but can you tell me what the BEER is for?"

The Doctor became noticeably outraged and stormed over to the door. He flung it open and yelled to his nurse .. . . . . .

Darn it!!! I said a BUTT LIGHT “

Depends on the scale you’re using Brutus. Weight by volume is the same, however the “light” beer weighs a little less on the caloric intake scale.

They just “lite” up the fridge after dark

Well, well the old battle axe comes in to spread her love!

And his laptop is a lot lighter after he deleted all those files.

maybe it says lite cause it’s brighter then most other beers. :D

I would just walk away from her. I couldn’t tolerate that abuse and would not want to get in an argument with her. I am surprised he doesn’t say, “Gladys, come get your mother.” I had a disagreeable MIL and I found infinite reasons to leave the house when she would show up unannounced.

All down to the specific gravity of the beer

Lite beer is like decaffeinated coffee. Why bother?

Weight is the same, alcohol content is different, Brutus.

I guess thinking Lite refers to its mass rather than its caloric content is a reasonable assumption. But, what’s really stupid is Mother Gargoyle’s put downs of Brutus. The man loves her daughter, Gladys, he provided her with a grandson, he works to provide for his family, has a regular job with some security, is a good father to his son, and is kind. Those are rare enough plusses for any man. What’s really stupid is mother’s continued attempts to run Brutus off. That’s grade A stupid.

Speaking of weights… what does electricity weigh? Does a fully charged EV weigh more than one that has a flat battery?

“Aw, go haunt a Cathedral!”

ᔑ(•ʊ̯•)ᔐ

Sorry Big Guy. 12 ounces is still ounces. Though it is lighter in calories. So by that measure, you are not wrong in your perception…..

Brutus just wants her to light out on her broom.

True fact. I used to work for Coca Cola. They had 5 gallon “Boxes” of syrup that we would deliver to restaurants/bars and what not for fountain drinks. Without a doubt, the regular Coke boxes weighed WAY more than the Diet Coke boxes. Obviously because of the sugar, but it was weird picking up the exact same size box and have it be sooo much lighter!

No, but a “Lite” beer is one letter lighter than a “Light” beer.

Ah the loving battle-axe strikes again. I’d be interested to know what came before her little jab. Was it provoked or just the first thing to pop out of her alleged mind? My guess is she just felt she hadn’t insulted Brutus sufficiently today so she pitched that lame tidbit. Good on our hero for not responding.

Light Beer is for lightweights

I thought so too…

Old, tired response: “Yes, Mother Gargle, I AM indeed stupid…remember, my first stupid act was marrying your daughter”

Not the way he really feels, I am sure, but it may slow down her attacks for a wee…

Poor fellow sarcasm at work and to only get petty sarcasm at home.

It’s hard to insult a simple man.

That’s OK, Brutus. In this case, a snippy comeback wouldn’t have worked.

Brutus thinks, “No wonder Romona is so nasty she’s in AA”…

Well Ramona is right about something, Brutus is really a prize, one that Gladys won…

No need. Two words were enough to send her on her way.

Since she said “Lite beer”, It would be Miller, if it was liter it would be a measure of volume.

Any light beer is like drinking water. <<<<<<beer snob

Mother G takes the prize for being annoying. No one else comes anywhere close.