The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn for June 12, 2021

Didn’t even take a second to figure this one out.

?

Someone’s fiddled my test results, Doc.

at least he has nothing to fret about

She still has her G-string on.

You are becoming a viola and if you don’t stop gaining weight…cello, you won’t fit in your case

Next thing he knew, it had generated a piercing screech that rendered him unconscious. Another senseless act of violins…

Those are indeed troubling symptoms for a fiddle. He needs to get that looked into.

Ah, he’s just playing ya…

Hey diddle diddle he was not fit as a fiddle. A little round in the middle and accidently would piddle. But what the hell! I got two things going. You don’t get this old if you’re fatally accident prone or God had decided to Smite Thee.

Lately Doc, I have been all strung out!

This doctor is the one who’s not fit.

Been eating too much cello.

He is, however, still brown as a nut! :)

Doc I have a performance tonight, can’t you pull a few strings and don’t tell the rest of the gang?

well, fiddlesticks…

Whoever’s been playing a 20 pound fiddle has to be in great shape, though.

Too much rosin on his bow.

Looks like he’s high strung and wired a little tight.

What a viol manner he has!

He’s really out of tune!

The fiddle is used to good ol’ down home cookin’, the doctor wants him to be more like his uptown cousin Vinnie Violin.

one of those phrases whose etymology puzzles me, like… dead as a doornail. Why is a fiddle fit? …why is a doornail dead?

What about a COVID test?

Oh, fiddle sticks!

Fiddle d d. The doctor isn’t fiddling with him.

That one is playing second to the other in the waiting room.

“Well, it all began when Midori kicked me out of the house.”

Don’t overreact. A little fine tuning and he’ll be fine.

How is it that the fiddle gets to be the epitome of fitness? What’s it got that a ukulele doesn’t? I’m a keyboard guy, so how about “pumped like an organ?” No, somehow that just doesn’t sound right. . .

Meanwhile, in Georgia.

“Ask your doctor if Stradivarius is right for you.”

I used to be called fit as a fiddle, but not at 78. (It takes ABOUT 70 pieces to make a violin, and they are very well fitted together, but nothing as well as a Stradivarius, or maybe a 3D printed one.)

Nice!

Back off Doc. YOU trying walking with no legs.

20 lbs? So now he’s a cello?

The doc is just stringing him along.

If its value has only increased by £20, it must not be of very high quality.

I love how the sides of the fiddle aren’t actually curved in anymore, and it looks kinda chunky!