Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson for December 11, 2020

“Then you’ll have to take it as a contingency case. I’ll give you all the toys I don’t like.”

Santa’s going to want to take this to the Supreme Court.

They say “Innocent till proven guilty”. For Calvin, it’s the other way around.

The charges attributable to Calvin would occupy a very substantial file . And he is only six .

Hobbes does know some big words, at least.

Pro bono? For representing Calvin‌‽‽

We’re on the third stage of Christmas gifting.

We already saw denial and anger.

Now we see bargaining.

Delivering legal paperwork like subpoenas to Santa would be challenging. With flying reindeer, he doesn’t need roads.

Santa lives outside the US, and is therefore not bound by the US Constitution.

Compare with today’s Non Sequitur.

What about Cher cases?

Couple cans of tuna should do it…

If Snoopy could do it, I guess Hobbes can.

Pay the man…errrr tiger….

F. Lee Hobbes esq.

Pro bonito?

A legal pad? Calvin, in your case you’re going to need to give him a couple of boxes of legal pads!

It is absolutely bizarre how a strip written 35 years ago speaks so eloquently about current political machinations. As long as we don’t have to start calling Hobbes ‘Rudy’, I suppose it’s okay.

Hobbes is thinking a big retainer is much more lawyerlike than just a legal pad.

I’ve just had a look at the comments made yesterday including answers to some of my comments.

I see that someone referred to “the incontinent toad mystery” as an unsolved Sherlock Holmes mystery “along with the Giant Rat of Sumatra”. In “The Adventure of the Sussex Vampire”, Holmes refers to “the Giant Rat of Sumatra” but not as one of his unsolved mysteries. He says that it is one which the world is not yet ready for.

Doctor Watson makes reference to three unsolved mysteries which are recorded in his memoirs and one of these refers to “a remarkable worm unknown to medical science” which is probably the case that yesterday’s commentator was thinking of.

What? You don’t like U2?

I’m with Hobbes here. If the tiger has to defend the “potential” property rights of Calvin he should be entitled to half of the proceeds, or first choice of 20%. Gad, I sound like a shark myself.

Hobbes is a lefty.

Since Hobbes is an animal, he might do it pro bonobo.

That’s okay – you’ll be handling this one ‘pro bonehead’…

Be careful, Hobbes, many attorneys end up on the Naughty list.

Calvin vs. The State of Denial.

Rudy Giuliani might be looking for work soon…

I hope Calvin qualifies for “The best friend discount”.

What about Pro Cher cases? Or Anti Bono cases?

And, you’ll need an hourly rate, of course.

someone who calls their gifts “loot” is not going to be on the nice list

Calvin, your first statement shows you are guilty.

“Possession is 9/10th of the law” You haven’t even got the 1/10th yet, Calvin. :)

You are not “deprived of property” when it’s a gift not yet given.

Wow, Hobbes certainly learned the ropes fast!

How about a tuna fish sandwich?

Right on, Hobbs, make the little miscreant pay!

Calvin will learn about the real world this way.

Get the money up front, Hobbes.

This case is dead at launch. Don’t forget the Writ of Habeas Corpses

The last time Calvin referred to the US Constitution to back up his position, he’d been sick for a week. It was during summer vacation, and when he got better he reminded his mom that he would be allowed to go back to school a week late, so he would get his full allotment of vacation time. Needless to say, that argument didn’t fly either. You’re going to be 0 for 2, Calvin.

A boy and his imaginary lawyer.

Opposing lawyer: 1) An offer of a gift is not binding. Plaintiff has no right to gifts from Santa. 2) Plaintiff may have the right to attempt to acquire property through legal means. However, neither the Constitution nor {the state where Calvin lives} grants the right to succeed in attempts to acquire property. The due process clause that Plaintiff asserts does not apply.

Not even if Cher asks?…

Gonna cost ya….

I didn’t know it was so easy to become a lawyer. Maybe that’s why they’re a dime a dozen.

Boy, this six year old sounds like an advocate already.

I don’t know about the mom, but Calvin’s DAD isn’t a lawer