Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for December 17, 2013
Transcript:
Eddie: Ok...wheah was I...? Ned: Flung by a whale, on a collision course with Santa. Flo: *Sigh* Eddie: Oh, yeah... Caption: I had no control, but by my calc-yaw-lations......it would be a neah-miss. Noise: POOMF Flo: Uh...that's not the FAA's definition of a neah-miss. Eddie: Just 'cuz the guvah-ment is ignahrent. Doesn't mean WE have to be. Ned: And yet...
watmiwori almost 11 years ago
BECAUSE the gummint is ignorant, they think we are, too! The fact that enough of us voted for them to get them electedproves they may very well be right….
Ida No almost 11 years ago
The opposite of “direct hit” is “near not hit”.
edclectic almost 11 years ago
And a near miss is a sure p!$$.
The_Uncle almost 11 years ago
Actually, Eddie is right – it was a “near miss”. In other words, he nearly missed it.If he’d missed it, it would have been a “near hit”.
Varnes almost 11 years ago
Things that go POOMF in the night…..
chassimmons Premium Member almost 11 years ago
@The Uncle: Yeah, George Carlin had a nice take on “near miss” / “near hit”. After explaining along the lines you do, he looked up, made a crash-type sound, and then said: “Look, they almost missed.”
Olddog1 almost 11 years ago
But a miss is as good as a Mrs.
YatInExile almost 11 years ago
When Eddie said “where was I,” they should have told him “You finished the story.”
Robert J Moriyama Premium Member almost 11 years ago
Actually, Eddie’s right — it was a near miss. He ALMOST missed the sleigh.
Nighthawks Premium Member almost 11 years ago
it’s not a near miss.it’s a near hit- George Carlin
kittenpah almost 11 years ago
It’s Santa’s fault. Powered aircraft are supposed to yield to gliders (well, what other category would you place an uncontrolled projectile in?)
dabugger almost 11 years ago
Well, had a president that is ignorant, followed by a tea party that makes him look like a genius; so what do you expect, a government of bureaucrats who know what they are doing?
Meh~tdology, fka Pepelaputr almost 11 years ago
Missed the reindeer, missed Santa, hit the presents.Close enough for guvah-ment work.
Strod almost 11 years ago
You must be confusing the Scud missiles with something else. Perhaps Patriot surface-to-air missiles?
tstuarta1 almost 11 years ago
“Near miss” probably started as “near but missed” and then became corrupted by dropping the “but” and “ed” from missed.
klunker rider almost 11 years ago
Santa got run over by a tugboatFlying out from his home Christmas EveYou can say there no such thing as Santa But as for Capt’n Eddie he believes
Meh~tdology, fka Pepelaputr almost 11 years ago
Scud is a series of tactical ballistic missiles developed by the Soviet Union during the Cold War. It was exported widely to other countries, in particular third world countries. The term comes from the NATO reporting name Scud which was attached to the missile by Western intelligence agencies. The Russian names for the missile are the R-11 (the first version), R-17 and R-300 Elbrus (later developments). The name Scud has been widely used to refer to these missiles and the wide variety of derivative variants developed in other countries based on the Soviet design.
Caddy57 almost 11 years ago
Guess who’s going to be on Santa’s “Naughty List” for a few years over this.
Argy.Bargy2 almost 11 years ago
So I called it correctly yesterday when I said this was the year no one got presents from Santa…
phoenixnyc almost 11 years ago
Why is it that “long-suffering” is the first adjective that comes to mind when I think of Flo? :grin:
mistercatworks almost 11 years ago
This joke was a near miss. Interpret it as you will.
gosfreikempe almost 11 years ago
thetyranny is caused by a lack of voters. The more people who vote, the better the resulting gummint will be.
gosfreikempe almost 11 years ago
After reading the first sentence, I was tempted to suggest that clean hits aren’t, in the same that friendly fire isn’t.
JenXChick Premium Member almost 11 years ago
I can’t believe no one understands what near miss means. It was a miss that was very near. You missed each other by very close proximity, so collision was narrowly averted.. As opposed to a far miss, which isn’t even worth saying, because you weren’t in any real danger of collision.