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Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson for August 06, 2015
August 05, 2015
August 07, 2015
Transcript:
Calvin: "I have a hammer!"
Calvin: "I can put things together! I can knock things apart! I can alter my environment at will and make an incredible din all the while!"
Calvin: "Ah. It's great to be male!"
Too bad that most of the males seem to revel in pointless loud stupidity like āboom-cars.ā Every spring and summer I get my eardrums assaulted by insanely loud bass coming out of cars. It never seems to occur to these males that only other males like that absurdly loud noise.
Ah, but the venue where being male is at its best is at those obnoxiously loud āmusicā festivals, specifically when utilizing their port-a-pots. These days, port-a-pots are quite possibly the only remaining place where itās still great to be male.
@Bilanā-A few tomorrows later he will be asking where his hearing aid is. My age 50 stepson has found out what cranked up music does to your hearingāplay now (loud), pay later (hearing loss).
I like loud boomsā¦.loud is excitingā¦.the thrill of fireworks and loud sirens from fire engines and police cars. Love parades and things that go BOOM! Loud music from a car is annoying only because itās not my music. Iām in my sixties, but when I get to hear a loud ācontrolledā explosion it brings a smile to my face and I feel like a child!!
I was trying to see if I could get everything Calvin was saying in the second panel to go with the rhythm and tune of āIf I Had a Hammerā by Peter, Paul, and Mary. LOL. The first three lines worked, but not I couldnāt get the last one to quite go along.
Six more retirement checks and my odometer will turn ā80ā. That said, my mailbox is plagued with hearing aid ads 4 days a week (or more).. I can still hear a mouse pee in my sock drawer even after years of flailing a Fender Strat nights to make ends meet. Even with 8 years of āMilitary Stuffā, I protected my hearing with cigarette filters or SOMETHING,so I didnāt have to wind up like my WWII friends, cousins and neighbors going ādeefā..
Itās great to be male. Iām writing a fictitious book called, ā101 Reasons Iām Glad Iām Not a Girl.ā Number one on the list is being able to pee standing up ā the world is your urinal. Number 101 is not having to find a bag to match my shoes.
In between are 99 serious and not-so-serious reasons. Whenever I hear someone mention a āwomanās issueā be it sociological, psychological or physiological ā serious or frivolous, Iāll blurt out āReason number 76ā or some other number. Those in the know about the book (mostly my wife and my sister) get the message that I do sympathize with them.
I am glad that about half the people on the planet are women. They make life interesting however, Iām glad Iām not one of them. Itās a lot easier being a guy.
Actually, I think Iām pushing nearly 1,000 reasons by now.
If I had a Hammer, and I had a Sickleā¦ old USSR version.-Booming, Subwoofer music: At intersections I can feel the pavement vibrate as the offenders wait out the red light. Oh well, itās just a different kind of fire hydrant for marking territory.
This remind me to the first scene of Stanley Kubrickās ā2001 A Space Odysseyā but also at another first scene of Mel Brookās āHistory of The World,part1ā
BE THIS GUY over 9 years ago
And itās ok if you belch.
Susie Derkins :D over 9 years ago
Can we fix it? No we canāt!
TMO1 Premium Member over 9 years ago
Too bad that most of the males seem to revel in pointless loud stupidity like āboom-cars.ā Every spring and summer I get my eardrums assaulted by insanely loud bass coming out of cars. It never seems to occur to these males that only other males like that absurdly loud noise.
Linux0s over 9 years ago
I donāt think thatās how the song goes.
Bilan over 9 years ago
Tomorrow, heāll be singing If I had a rocket launcher ā¦
Alexander the Good Enough over 9 years ago
Ah, but the venue where being male is at its best is at those obnoxiously loud āmusicā festivals, specifically when utilizing their port-a-pots. These days, port-a-pots are quite possibly the only remaining place where itās still great to be male.
charliefarmrhere over 9 years ago
@Bilanā-A few tomorrows later he will be asking where his hearing aid is. My age 50 stepson has found out what cranked up music does to your hearingāplay now (loud), pay later (hearing loss).
Courage the Cowardly Dog! over 9 years ago
Calvin Thor!
phylum over 9 years ago
imagineā¦calvin giving an endorsement for hillary way back thenā¦.
SusanSunshine Premium Member over 9 years ago
Hey!
I have a hammer!And I love being female!
Kristiaan over 9 years ago
It is!
dustspecks Premium Member over 9 years ago
If Calvin had a hammer, heād hammer in the morningā¦.heād hammer in the eveningā¦..all over this landā¦ā¦..uh, scary.
Plods with ...ā¢ over 9 years ago
OK āfess up. Who gave it to him?
Pocosdad over 9 years ago
Give a man a hammer, and everything starts to look like a nail.
Egrayjames over 9 years ago
I like loud boomsā¦.loud is excitingā¦.the thrill of fireworks and loud sirens from fire engines and police cars. Love parades and things that go BOOM! Loud music from a car is annoying only because itās not my music. Iām in my sixties, but when I get to hear a loud ācontrolledā explosion it brings a smile to my face and I feel like a child!!
rentier over 9 years ago
Itās great to be male, when you are female men adore you, that has silver lining, too!
bookworm0812 over 9 years ago
I was trying to see if I could get everything Calvin was saying in the second panel to go with the rhythm and tune of āIf I Had a Hammerā by Peter, Paul, and Mary. LOL. The first three lines worked, but not I couldnāt get the last one to quite go along.
ddewrell over 9 years ago
Missing Hobbes
Thomas Scott Roberts creator over 9 years ago
Will he hammer in the morning?Will he hammer in the evening?All over this land?
Dour Scotsman over 9 years ago
Did Susie never get given a hammer?
zeeny over 9 years ago
I am not able to use the calender to traverse back to the previous daysā¦any one else facing the same??
jrankin1959 over 9 years ago
Thatās your cue, Miss Derkinsā¦
Hobbes Premium Member over 9 years ago
The last panel shows a side view of Calvinās mouth. He looks like a Muppet.
Hobbes Premium Member over 9 years ago
@ddewrell: Hobbes is keeping his distance today. It isnāt wise to pounce on a guy who is holding a hammer.
gklassen over 9 years ago
Move over Tim the Toolman Taylor
morningglory73 Premium Member over 9 years ago
Iād rather be a hammer than a nail.
Poollady1 over 9 years ago
Hey! Females can do the same things with a hammer!!!
unca jim over 9 years ago
Six more retirement checks and my odometer will turn ā80ā. That said, my mailbox is plagued with hearing aid ads 4 days a week (or more).. I can still hear a mouse pee in my sock drawer even after years of flailing a Fender Strat nights to make ends meet. Even with 8 years of āMilitary Stuffā, I protected my hearing with cigarette filters or SOMETHING,so I didnāt have to wind up like my WWII friends, cousins and neighbors going ādeefā..
dflak over 9 years ago
Itās great to be male. Iām writing a fictitious book called, ā101 Reasons Iām Glad Iām Not a Girl.ā Number one on the list is being able to pee standing up ā the world is your urinal. Number 101 is not having to find a bag to match my shoes.
In between are 99 serious and not-so-serious reasons. Whenever I hear someone mention a āwomanās issueā be it sociological, psychological or physiological ā serious or frivolous, Iāll blurt out āReason number 76ā or some other number. Those in the know about the book (mostly my wife and my sister) get the message that I do sympathize with them.
I am glad that about half the people on the planet are women. They make life interesting however, Iām glad Iām not one of them. Itās a lot easier being a guy.
Actually, I think Iām pushing nearly 1,000 reasons by now.
jshill922 over 9 years ago
Jeff0811, Exactly! I will never ever understand why some people think that everyone with a 2-3 block radius wants to listen to their āmusicā.
rentier over 9 years ago
Sheāll knock Calvin!!
cubswin2016 over 9 years ago
Another thing you can do with a hammer is fall and hit yourself in the head. Be careful, Calvin.
Number Three over 9 years ago
āI have a hammer and Iām not afraid to use it!ā
xxx
pouncingtiger over 9 years ago
A slight tribute to Pete Seeger
spaced man spliff over 9 years ago
If I had a Hammer, and I had a Sickleā¦ old USSR version.-Booming, Subwoofer music: At intersections I can feel the pavement vibrate as the offenders wait out the red light. Oh well, itās just a different kind of fire hydrant for marking territory.
bmonk over 9 years ago
Now everything looks like a nail to Calvin. If he gets a wrench, everything will look nuts!
Hobbes Premium Member over 9 years ago
@LeadingEdge: Maybe Bruce Jenner is tired of hammering?
Renatus Profuturus Frigeridus Premium Member over 9 years ago
This remind me to the first scene of Stanley Kubrickās ā2001 A Space Odysseyā but also at another first scene of Mel Brookās āHistory of The World,part1ā
Renatus Profuturus Frigeridus Premium Member over 9 years ago
I beg your pardon:I meant Mel Brooksā
neverenoughgold over 9 years ago
Wow, 80 comments already and it isnāt even 8:00PM CDT! Todayās Calvin must have hit a nerveā¦
ā¦with a hammer!
larryrhoades over 9 years ago
Great cartoon!(Calvin, the best is yet to come.)
starfighter441 over 9 years ago
If you canāt fix it with a hammer, itās an electrical problem.
lindz.coop Premium Member over 9 years ago
And when you get older you can stink up the place with a poorly maintained diesel truck.
tea62 over 9 years ago
Oh, now I see! Calvin is actually Donald Trump.
Humerus1 10 months ago
tru dat Calvin