Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for February 05, 2016
February 04, 2016
February 11, 2016
Transcript:
Neuron heroes of the SUPER BOWL A tribute to the sacrifices made by the NFL Neurons in service of their teams and the grand game of the gridiron SUPERBOWL II no. 37395496584, Packers With the Packers up 13-7 and driving toward the end zone with the clock ticking down on the first half, this neuron laid it on the line, suffering completely devastation to its membrane permeability during a hit to the head of GREEN Bay tonight end Ron Ingalls. SUPERBOWL XIV no. 8264289 Steelers In the Steelers' first possession, the brave neuron with in the brain of tackle Brett Overton risked it all in a subconcussive trauma , and was totally oblitirerated, causing tau proteins to am ss pathologically, But First and ten, Steelers! SUPERBOWL XXXIII No. 440212611 Broncos This indomitable neuron, posthumously inducted into the NFL neurological Hall Of Fame, gave 110% - of its microtubule tract - so that Bronocs wide receiver Billy Goddard, in whose brain it was a loyal teammate, could make a third quarter reception for a gain of 12. SUPER BOWL XLI On a field goal that would give the COLTS a five point lead, the pesky , selfless neuron was violently stripped in a collision, after which positively charged sodium ions were released and flooded into the brain of guard Tripp Fredricksen. On behalf of these and billions of other neurons who left it all on the field , Tripp Fredricksen would like to say a few words. Thank you to all the heroic cellular competitors who gave their all to give fans great Super Bowl memories, and give players Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy!
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Randy B Premium Member almost 9 years ago
RIP Ken Stabler, and many others.
Funny_Ha_Ha almost 9 years ago
You may be just banging you head against a wall here.
wcorvi almost 9 years ago
Fooball players HAVE neurons?
pgomes almost 9 years ago
wcorvi:I know, it’s like they’re not even human beings with feelings and emotions, right? Haha!
aerilim almost 9 years ago
And this is not counting the millions of neurons killed by beer consumption during the games…
tobybartels almost 9 years ago
What are those unpronounceable words after ‘Super Bowl’? They look kind of like Star Wars episode symbols, but I don’t recognize most of them.
Eclectic-1 almost 9 years ago
Sports are the new opiate of the masses. Get a life, America.
King_Shark almost 9 years ago
I wish Americans would talk about sports the rest of the world might comprehend.
gigagrouch almost 9 years ago
Almost too topical to be funny? No, its not funny, but right on the mark. Thank you, Ruben.
Linguist almost 9 years ago
If more satirists had the courage to go after the NFL on this issue, maybe they’d stop trying to sugar-coat the seriousness and the extent of concussion related injuries – CTE and do something more to assist their veteran players suffering with this type injury and do more to prevent it.
More important, maybe the bloodthirsty American Sports Fan would realize that we are no better than the Plebeian Romans and are being feed the modern equivalent of bread and circus ( BTW the original meaning of circus had nothing to do with Barnum & Bailey ). Our modern gladiators just suffer longer, more excruciating deaths.
Dirty Dragon almost 9 years ago
Dave Duerson, John Mackey, Ken Stabler, Mike Webster. Four actual Super Bowl Champions who died with CTE..Unfortunately, you don’t have to make up names.
Solaricious Premium Member almost 9 years ago
Glad I gave up on following the NFL a few years ago, fed up with all the tendon tears, drug arrests, murders and wife beatings – it kinda took the fun out of the game. The CTE (and likely cover-up) is just embarrassingly shameful.
greenearthman almost 9 years ago
Really, I think, how much is your life and your mind worth? And why, can young kids not head the ball in soccer, while older ones can? Why in the heck are boxing or wrestling or any number of sports that are just as dangerous still allowed? I saw the Kim/Mancini fight-1982(?). Cosell said he would never call a fight again, and didn’t. You can’t blame Mancini, can you? Kim never regained consciousness;essentially killed in the ring on national tv. I heard Cuba Gooding Jr. say a couple days ago that OJ, whom he is portraying, has CTE. Doesn’t excuse him, though. This is a true national disgrace!
ickymungmung almost 9 years ago
Well, when you put it that way…