Bloom County by Berkeley Breathed for March 18, 2024

Is there another kind?

Say hello to Bolivia, Binkley …

The good old days when JW was the most annoying religion in the country…

Aaaaaaaahh, the Jehovah Witness Pitbull, I thought he would become a regular character.

I guess Binkley’s dad is afraid of dogs.

They went the way of the Hare Krishnas

When I was in college some witnesses tried to force their way into my dorm. it was on the edge of campus and was a 3 story converted apartment building-two four person apartments on each floor, the back faced campus. One afternoon there was banging on the ‘front’ door I went to see what it was and these two old women tried to force their way in.

Went i wouldn’t let go of the door they tried to talk their way in and asked if it was a fraternity. I was so close to telling them it was “kappa kappa kappa” betting they wouldn’t know the greek.

But since that day I’ve had an intense dislike for that group and the pushy tactics. when one came into my yard when I was gardening a couple of years ago to proselytize the most polite I got to was “Leave. NOW!” since he didn’t take the hint it went down hill from there. as he told me not to shout at him. his other missionaries came running to the sound of the dispute with me telling them to get the f’ out of my development NOW or I’d call the police and have the idiot arrested for tresspassing and threatening me and then i;d call a friend who worked at CBS and see if they wanted to do a report on them. I had the satisfaction of seeing them beat a retreat back to the minivan

Stop with the idiotic cliches about pit bulls, they’re very nice dogs.

I had a Witless ask me if he could tell me about his god. I replied yes after I told him about mine. I then asked him what he knew about Ra, the Sun God. He turned tail and beat a hasty retreat.

I offer them a Book of Mormon

Years ago, as a single guy in a apartment, I had a former fellow church member (we were in choir together) show up at the door. He started the JW spiel so I invited him in, brought him to the living room and offered him a beer. I cracked one open for myself and poured it in a chilled mug, and asked him to carry on with his “rant.” Yes, I told him it was a rant! Well, he left and I enjoyed my beer.

Don’t forget to write, Binkley! ☺

Nothing wrong with Bolivia.

First house I owned, I had a couple show up at the door wanting to tell me about whatever it is that they believe. I looked down, kind of sheepishly, and told them I didn’t think my master, Satan, would like that. Word must have gotten around because I never saw another one in the 8 years I lived there.

If they don’t bother me, then I won’t bother them. We did have one customer at the bank who would hand tracts to us, despite being told repeatedly that solicitations were not allowed. There was another one who was greeted with a smile and a “Merry Christmas” by a coworker. She informed the teller, in angry tones, that she was a Witness and didn’t celebrate. And how was the teller, who was just being friendly, supposed to know that? If you don’t celebrate a particular occasion, fine. But there are more courteous ways of informing others about that.

♪♫ Don’t cry for me, Bolivia… ♬♫

When my family was living in a residential neighborhood, a couple of missionaries rang the front door bell. Years earlier, Dad had installed an intercom system between the kitchen and the front door. The dark colored outside speaker/mic was near the ceiling of the porch. Mom answered the visitors with a “Yeessss?” and observed said visitors looking around. She then asks, “May I help you?” and the answered while still looking around, “Are you G o d?”