Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for July 29, 2016

Goat, if Rat starts choking on his own vomit, don’t help him.

“If money can’t buy happiness, I guess I’ll have to rent it.” (Weird Al Yankovic, “This Is the Life”)

It’s been said that you only rent beer.

I’m renting all the happiness I can handle thanks to the SS checks that come every month like clockwork.

Well Rat has the right idea anyway. If you have a lot of money, then spend it on something useful. It won’t buy happiness, but it can certainly give you a few thrills in life if you spend it wisely. Hoard it all, and you miss a lot.

Remember when comics used to be for children?

Money can buy guitars, and that’s sort of the same thing.

Happiness is an inside job…………must make sure to bring the correct tools !

Or as Rodney Dangerfield said, it lets you choose your own type of misery.

Or, as Berke Breathed put it, “Money can’t buy love, but it sure improves your bargaining position.”

I had a friend who was a bartender and he’d always say that you never buy a drink, you only rent it.

I do remember Bilan,and I like adult comics much better now.

I’ll drink that!

Mrs. Howell had a good answer for that, too: “Anyone who says that money can’t buy happiness just doesn’t know where to shop!”

“Buy a Jet-Ski. Have you ever seen an unhappy person on a Jet-Ski?”…

Money doesn’t buy happiness, but it enables you to be miserable in much better surroundings.

Rat’s motto:

I’ve had a motto for years: “Money can’t buy happiness…it can only make the down payment”

If you think money can’t buy happiness, you don’t have enough money.

try looking on blueberry hill

I disagree it can buy happiness, now if someone will just fund a 5 year test for me, with unlimited funs I’ll give you the results when done.

Reality is there is things far more important than money but hey it isn’t like I’m going to find a sponsor anyways.

Like my Aunt once told me…“They say money can’t buy happiness but I’d sure like to give it a try!”

http://www.businessinsider.com/study-shows-money-can-buy-happiness-2015-1

Money can’t buy you happiness, health and love.

What can it buy then?

I don’t know who on earth came up with these sayings.

xxx

What happened to the ISIS cartoon?

Rat needs a new source of income. This would be a great job for him. Looks like Snopes.com needs some good help.

http://100percentfedup.com/busted-main-political-fact-checker-for-snopes-is-finally-exposed-as-liberal-hack/

Just too beers and a martini, and down you go? Rat! I am ashamed of you! Guess you tiny tummy can’t handle the big boy’s stuff, ehh? Neither can your tiny brain handle big boy’s philosophizing….

“I know everybody saysMoney can’t buy happinessBut it could buy me a boat, it could buy me a truck to pull itIt could buy me a Yeti 110 iced down with some silver bullets”

Yah, you tell me money can’t buy happiness, but honest, level with me here — have you really tried hard enough?Tell you what, let’s try it again with another 120 million, whadya say? Then double-down until we get it! Who’s got the cheques?

…♪♫…Open your door, I’ll be your tenantDon’t got much baggage, to lay at your feetBut sweet kisses, I’ve got to spareI’ll be there and I’ll cover you

I think they meant itWhen they said you can’t buy loveNow I know you can rent itA new lease you are my loveOn life, be my life..♪♫…

Shoemaker to son: “Someday, son, this awl will be yours.”

Money can’t buy happiness…but food makes me happy. Therefore, money can buy happiness.

I’ve never understood what is so thrilling about drinking yourself horizontal. Even if you had an epic good time, you won’t remember!