Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for August 30, 2016

How about if cows wrote books about boy wizards?

“If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.” (Jack Handey)

Poetry or not, I’d still kill for a good hamburger or steak. I don’t even like poetry.

Keep in mind, goat, that the culture you’re born into more determines which animals are more likely to be killed.

Goat and Rat eat cows? (Well, come to think of it, Rat would.)

Pigs are intelligent and noble creatures, but we still kill and eat them, because hey, bacon.

Rat. You’re a.. rat? Kill them faster.. riiiggght!

Goat why is there Air and Water ?……………and food?…….these are the things that make life happen :-)

Heck, this is the comics reality where Pig eats BLTs, so why not?

Goats are often kept for their milk, but they are also a major meat source and have been for 9000 years or so. Their hairy hides make good cloaks for shepherds, too. Cartoon-Boy is Greek, so I’m sure he is aware of this.So, Goat, don’t be too inquisitive. Unlike the curious cat, you don’t have nine lives with which to work….

This is why there are rat traps.

Moo moo mooMoo moo moo moo

Yup, it rhymes.

Has Rat noticed this momentous day? Ziggy is wearing shoes.

Beware of poets who read their verse in public, they may have other bad habits as well.

A man is driving down a deserted country road when he has a blowout. Not having a spare he finally finds a house and asks the lady if he can use her phone to call for a tow-truck. As she opens the door for him to come in, a Three Legged Pig runs out. He asks “why does that Pig only have three legs?” She says that they had a fire and the pig woke everybody up and then went back and brought the dog out. He said “but why does the Pig only have three legs?” She said well another time my son was playing on the ice and it broke and he fell in and the Pig ran to the barn and got a rope and saved him. Again he asked “why does the Pig only have three legs?” After all the Pig did for us, it didn’t seem right to eat him all at once.

source: http://www.jokes4us.com/animaljokes/threeleggedpigjoke.html

Rats are on my hit list.

Rat probably doesn’t like mimes, either.

Bleeding heart herbivores…

and we kill vegetables because they’re not cute and don’t have voices, but they’re still living things.

Killing them wouldn’t be the best option… Rat lol

i prefer to eat steer. but this year, it’s the piggies that are making the trip to the deep freeze. (Alexander Hamilton & Sir Kevin Bacon)

So, which animals write poetry? (we know cows don’t)

we got two options if cows really did write poety then they would either be equals or conquer mankind…after all cows would eat us if they were smart enough to write poetry.

The other option is mankind would just enslave the cows to do our bidding, they are better off not being intelligent enough to write poetry. It don’t matter what the government does, history has shown us what would happen.

This is why sir Francis Bacon did not write poems. It’s not a job for pigs and besides, writing poems does not bring home the bacon.

Your best friend is a pig….

animals food – or humans go hungry in some placespoetry can be strange – even though i like most kindssome plant are carnivores-don’t let them near your fingersrat’s are omnivores – why they exist everywheregoat’s eat many things cows can’t and still live-hey rat – i’ve known cows to be snotty but never snootyand i’ve known a lot of cows growing up:) at least a couple thousand

excellent

If cows wrote poetry, what kind would they write? Haimoo?

Generally, so we can convert stuff we cannot digest effectively into something we can, like grasses to beef or mutton.

Brian Fellows hates snooty cows

William Forstchen’s “The Lost Regiment” series actually raises questions about something like this. There are aliens who literally call humans “cattle” and eat them.

So, if I don’t write poetry I’m… what? Dead meat? Or a cow? Well, mooooo to you too!