Gil Thorp by Henry Barajas and Rachel Merrill for November 21, 2016

Ummm….DUH!

What’s their excuse when she isn’t on the field?

Just between you, me and the lampshade, exactly how many 220-pounders are they FACING? This is HIGH SCHOOL, kiddos!

The Flying Fickle Finger Of Fate is getting quite a workout today.

You’re right Heather, it is you. It’s not the fact that Hakeem had been hanging on to the ball longer than RG3 before you ever made the team. Personally I think he just enjoys taking the hits.

And here we thought putting a girl out there with tiny little crab claws for hands would never tip off the other team.

So now she moves on to her true passion and starts coaching football. Look out Gil.

In all reality , Coach , I talked with Bobby and aside from the roid’s he’s getting for me , he’s got some special pills that will make me think I’m 6’4" 240 lbs they taste like Skittles . Oh yeah, I’m going to eat an additional peanut butter sandwich at lunch and drink a protein shake after practice , we should see the results before we play Mt Carmel .

Steve Boone nowhere in sight. When O-line Coach Boonie pointed out the obvious, Gil banished him to assist Mop Man with sweeping duties.

I’m sure Heather knows how to coach a spread.

P3…the team they are playing looks like they are getting ready to line dance…

Brilliant deduction-could only be reached after hours of film study.

Solution! Have Heather run the ball!

OK, let’s isolate P-1. You’ve figured out the problem, Heather. (Now, look at his hand…)

P-2: Heather caught singing the theme from Tom Terrific cartoon (time appropriate) “If you see a plane up high, a choo- choo train go roaring by, a bumble bee or a tree…” P-3: I are smart!!

So how many snaps a game is Heather up to? Must be a lot more than the six she started out with. Has Gil ever looked more dimwitted than he does today?

Coach: “Um Heather, if might have been nice to know that you weren’t being covered while the game was being played.”Heather: “Um, you’re the coach…you couldn’t see it yourself? Now write me a pass for class!”

P1…“I think you’ve figured out the problem, Heather”….“yeah..it’s coach Gil…he’s so stupid, that everyone knows that I don’t belong out here except him…”

Geez you %#$@ THINK! THAT’S their weekend cliffhanger?

Well, if they always expect the pass, then you’ve got them. This presents some possibilities for deceptive run plays.

So do all the high schools in the valley get game films on all their opponents’ games so they can study things like this? Is that a thing in high school these days? I don’t know, I’m really asking.

I agree with earlier comments, since Heather rarely plays how does that account for Hakeem getting mauled all game? And now will they try to fool everyone by running the ball while she’s in the game? Which wouldn’t be that big a deal I’d assume, how many fakeout runs will work before they stop blitzing whenever H.E. is in the game?

And speaking of big deals, today’s Mopped Up Thorp is kind of a big deal. https://moppedupthorp.wordpress.com/

MOP, HS teams generally meet up a week before their game and exchange films. The conference the school I teach at trade 3 game films.