Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for April 17, 2017

I said that when I was Danae’s age! Lies, not “rules” or “Laws” with English! Fake!

Some of the contradictions are exceptional and some of the exceptions are contradictory.

Much of the written English language was standardized with the King James version of he bible.

“I before E except after C” is a rule thought up by some weird ancient foreign scientist.

Danae was funnier when she didn’t sound like the government.

Why do people remember only half of the rule

Why do people remember only half of the rule?.I before E except after C,Or when sounded as “a”As in “neighbor” or “weigh.”.This does not confront all the exceptions, but it cuts down some of them..https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Category:English_words_not_following_the_I_before_E_except_after_C_rule

And I often get the underline when I type colour, and labour, and neighbour.

The rule is, I before E except after C, except when weird atheist science societies, seeing eight beige reindeer heifers reign and neigh, and sufficiently efficient albeit bouncier species, seize their ancient fallacies of deintellectualized deities agreeing to forfeit the reins, while heir Keith inveigles to reinforce or reinvent a surfeit of fancier, juicier, counterfeit caffeine freight weighing eight glaciers, herein a feint.

I before he, except after she.

The spelling rules aren’t nearly as odd as the pronunciation rules. Tomb, comb and bomb sound nothing alike. This is “fun” to explain to a child just learning to read!

Those aren’t contradictions, they’re exceptions.

Language develops dynamically, through usage, and without rules. Grammarians figure out the “rules” after the fact, they don’t invent them. So there are always exceptions.

Pronunciation is a mess because English is an amalgam of several other languages, and Samuel Johnson thought it was important to maintain a word’s origin in the spelling of the word.

Rules are meant to be broken.

LOL – Yay Danae! (I love that kid!)

In UK schools were told to stop teaching it in 2009 – http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/education/8110573.stm

I never understood that rule.

Years ago I ran across a list of language exceptions, each with an example except for the last. That exception showed no example. Very good try at making something from nothing. If I can find it again, I will post the url.

As Carlin said; "Einstein has it wrong TWICE in his name!

The only general rule of the English Language are there are no general rules.

Wiley just cannot let it go.

And then people wonder why I will not accept would of, could of and should of. English is contradictory enough already.

Or when pronounced “a” as in neighbor and weigh.

Why did Danae cite “ancient”? It fits the rule.

English isn’t fake news. Rules of grammar and pronunciation are.

Here’s the deal, children. Combine the following in a blender:

1 bottle Greek olive oil1 bottle Italian (Latin) balsamic vinegar3 bottles German beer1 bottle French wine1/2 bottle Scandinavian meadfew dashes Japanese sakeDashes of several other drinks from around the globe

Blend on high for 1 minute.

Voila. You have English.

English is a “Mutt” Language, with roots in dozens of earlier languages. THAT’S why it’s so screwed up!

The only way to spell correctly in English is through rote memorization. Just memorize the spelling of every English word and you’re set!

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Trying to spell a word based on what it sounds like works about 95% of the time. 95% sounds nice until you realize that you will spell every 20th word incorrectly. In your typical 3,000 word magazine article that’s 150 misspellings.

Discontinued in UK schools. Covered on British TV ‘Qi’, it’s hilarious watching a patient man getting more and more wound up, but a variety of comedians, and Dan Radcliffe.https://youtu.be/duqlZXiIZqA

“The problem with defending the purity of the English language is that English is about as pure as a cribhouse whore. We don’t just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary.”

English spellings are more like pictographs.

Ghoti, an alternate spelling for fish. (Bernard Shaw)