Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for February 16, 2018

Cindy Brady feels your pain.

Does that count as a pun strip?

Life’s a beach.

An age-old question; what sadist made up the word “lisp” with an “s” in it?

poor Lenny… there are other fith in the thea

He failed to mention that she also sits in her slip as she sips Schlitz.

No, he broke up “becauthe” of her “careerth.”

Had occasion to rattle this one off yesterday:

Theophilus Thistle, the successful thistle sifter, when sifting a sieve full of unsifted thistles thrust three thousand thistles through thick of his thumb.

Now, if Theophilus Thistle, the successful thistle sifter, when sifting a sieve full of unsifted thistles thrust three thousand thistles through thick of his thumb, take care that thou, when sifting a sieve full of unsifted thistles thrust not three thousand thistles through thick of thy thumb.

Success to the successful thistle sifter.

Lenny, Lenny, Lenny. You could have made it work. Just don’t talk about it. That works for a lot of things in a relationship.

What is the opposite of Kismet?

She could make more money selling rubber baby buggy bumpers.

Betty Batter bought some butter, “but” said she, “my batter’s bitter”. So she bought some better butter for her bitter batter and made her bitter batter better.

If she really loved him she’d change jobs and sell cockles and mussels, alive alive-oh.

His girlfriend was Mary Anning?

Lenny the Lisp sounds like a name for a gangster.

Yeah, but how much money does she make?

Pastis should have a lisping snake. “Hith, hith”.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ddSqwlKNZNM

Shouldn’t that be “careerth”?

I have an idea for a single panel comic. Call it “Sunday Morning In the Paint Store,” and have a can of turpentine with a lisp sing, “Oh the preacher said I was a thinner…”

Across the sky the thunder god rode on his favorite filly.

and the horse replied,

“You forgot the thaddle, thilly”

I lithp exthept when I thay Ithica.

He couldn’t just text that?

An uplithping link.

http://assets.gocomics.com/uploads/blogs/blog_image_mid_4035_7236_ulysshes_201706190915.jpg

He should suggest that she change to a more lucrative job: selling dry-cell batteries to sunbathers listening to their boom boxes. She cells C cells by the sea shore.

Oopth.

“Thankth for the thour perthimmonth, couthin!”

I wonder what causes lisps?

Maybe I should stop being lazy and Google it.

xxx

“What does your girlfriend do?”

“She’s in retail.”

Thwell.

Didn’t seem to hurt the lifestyle of the late-Mel Tillis, now, did it? It only made him stronger—-not to mention an even better/more sought after singer, of “the time” …

And, naturally, she sits upon a slitted sheet….

My girlfriend is a conch merchant at the beach.

The pellet with the poison’s in the flagon with the dragon; the vessel with the pestle has the brew that is true.

Is this like the job of working on a pirate ship sweeping ashes?

Selling seashells is a good career depending on how much money you make.

Did anyone else notice that Lenny the Lisp DIDN’T lisp when he said ‘because’ in the first panel??