That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for May 18, 2018

After hearing about the exploding vape pens, Hans bought the airbag-equipped model.

Ian figured out a new way to drink without the wife finding out.

Bram found a way to break his lease agreement.

Then he’s doing it right.

Yankee Doodle “Stuck a feather in his hat…” and then realized that he looked like a complete moron.

When blaming the dog didn’t work, he found a new way to explain the strange noises he kept making. The smell, however, continued to be a problem.

St Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland and all the women from his life.

Not Scottish pipes.

He’s not using his fingers correctly.

He couldn’t figure out why he wasn’t a hit with the ladies.

the difference between one piper and a hundred? none!

Not so great moment in phallic portraiture.

Nope haven’t seen anyone. You say some broke into your chicken coop?

Why do bagpipers always march briskly while they play? They’re trying to get away from that music. (Actually, I kind of like bagpipes, and banjo, and accordion, but its still fun to tell the jokes.)

If Bon Scott had made it to middle age….

Hi. My name is Švanda. Has anyone seen Dorota?

bill is blowing air into a swan

The Bagpiper: 

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Abraham_Bloemaert_-_The_Bagpiper_-_WGA02274.jpg 

(best viewed using Google Chrome, which can automatically translate most pages as necessary) has info and links that point to info about this ca. 1625-1630 painting.

http://www.artcyclopedia.com/artists/bloemaert_abraham.html 

http://www.all-art.org/baroque/bloemaert1.html 

https://www.wga.hu/bio_m/b/bloemaer/abraham/biograph.html 

https://geerts.com/famous-painters/abram-bloemaert 

https://hnanews.org/hnar/reviews/abraham-bloemaert-1566-1651-studien-zur-utrechter-malerei-um-1620/ 

https://www.theleidencollection.com/artist/abraham-bloemaert/ 

all have info about this artist. So far, 3 works by him have been used here. 

http://www.gocomics.com/that-is-priceless/2013/03/18?comments=visible 

has the prior work (my just replied, because the original’s hyperlinks are no longer active – &?@#!#%&!, comment there included the same artist info URLs).

Again, a larger strip image is shown by clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s MASTERPIECE #1955 (May 17, 2018) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment.

Pieter, the Pied Piper of Pillsbury, having discovered his wife Dolly, diddling the dough boy, awaits the perfect moment to surprise them with a bagpipe serenade.

Bagpipes were used extensively by the Scottish army. While they weren’t much fun to march to when you were going on the attack, they were great for playing during the retreat.

A Scottish commentator on NPR some years back noted the films from WWI of Highland troops charging into No Man’s Land with bagpipes behind them – something like “They weren’t particularly brave – they were just trying to get away from the bagpipes. And the Germans weren’t afraid of these men in skirts. They were music lovers who had to throw down their guns to put their hands over their ears.” [Disclaimer: Personally, I thrill so much to the sound of the pipes that I figure one of my Viking ancestors must have gone to Scotland brought home a two-legged souvenir.]

“Aye laddy, it’s legal in Colorado, Oregon, Washington, Alaska, California, Maine, Massachusetts and Vermont. But we still have to disguise it here in Wisconsin!”

“Free Bird!!!”

When Hamish asked his wife for a blow job he didn’t think she’d give him these pipes. (“Faire la pipe” in French means….oh never mind…It’ll only get me banned)

I like bagpipe music in small doses. But I love the jokes about bagpipes. The following is a quote from Alfred Hitchcock: “I understand that the inventor of the bagpipes was inspired when he saw a man carrying an indignant, asthmatic pig under his arm. Unfortunately, the man-made sound never equaled the purity of sound achieved by the pig.”

― Alfred Hitchcock

Alfred found a way to keep the in laws away.

Before taking up a career in acting, Joe Pesci had a short but colorful career as a rat exterminator.