Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for July 27, 2018

…but make sure the drapes are the right color.

Not only the right color, but the right shade of that color, the right cloth, the right thread count, the right length, the right cut, and hung the right way.

…and he’s a stalker.

That’s like in THE SIMPSONS when Grandpa appears outside their window…

“No, but the most educational program I could find is one you’d call ‘porn’.”

Blinds might be an alternative, but you’d first have to ask if they’re permitted.

That’s why, if you are looking at a house in a HOA, you review the documents first. Some are okay, maintaining the grounds, others are way too controlling.

I guess I’m lucky – no HOA’s where I live. But I have friends with horror stories. HOA would be a deal breaker for any house I’d consider buying. But then, I also don’t have to move for a job or anything like that.

Appropriately, they should watch Big Brother.

I just noticed a Croc eating Steph’s shoe. And where is the Army Duck story line. With the war on illegals, I would think the satire would write itself.

These types of busybodies are what tar and feathering was invented to deal with.

These are people who have NO LIFE and must live everyone elses!

Stephan only thinks he’s kidding about this.

2 days in a row. He must of had a run-in with his HOA.

And what burns my a$$ about HOA is you pay them to enforce their rules…

wonder if Pastis is having trouble with his HOA?

“Ratgirls Gone Wild!” What could be more educational than that.

Everything in moderation, even HOA’s.

He must be part of the NSA

It’s a tradeoff. I would really like a white picket fence around my front yard, would be really pretty, but my HOA says no front yard fences. However, in my last neighborhood, I lived down the street from a guy who parked his collection of broken down cars in the front yard and another who was apparently unaware that lawnmowers existed. You just have to choose if you are willing to relinquish control of your own property in order to have the neighbors also be required to pretend to some level of civilized behavior.

The carpet should match the drapes.Hardwood floors you say?My favorite ;)

Not a fan

Explode An HOA is sweeping the nation!

Pig, This is your HOA, AGAIN.

You are prohibited from closing the drapes to your living room. We like your Cable channels.

Rat – the shampoo instructions says apply lather, rinse, repeat. You did not repeat last night.

Now would be a perfect time to have an app on your phone that turns on the sprinklers.

I prefer a house where you can’t see your neighbors. I’ve almost got that now.

My condo association asked everyone to register their pets 4 years ago, so we registered our 2 house cats. Then 2 years ago they did it again but let us pass since we already registered them and we hadn’t acquired any new animals. This year (the 3rd time if you’re keeping score) they once again asked residents to register their pets. I called and said, “We still have the same 2 house cats. Nothing new. Can we pass?” Their reply, “No you must re-register them. We need new photos of them and a signed letter from you and your landlord (if you don’t own the unit) or we’ll fine you $100 a day up to $1000 and then we’ll have our lawyers work on evicting your pets.” So looks like we’ll be doing this thing every few years until our cats pass away or until we move. SAME EXACT CATS WHO NEVER LEAVE THE HOUSE. Just to be clear, here.

Btw: The registration is the same every time. Photos, names of the animals, vaccination records, and signed letter. I can see asking us to submit new vaccination records when the old ones expire (especially for pets who wonder around outdoors) but to ask us for photos (my cats still look the same) and their names (they still have the same names) and info every single time is insane.

Pig should re-think (sorry; make that just “think”) what he said. There is no sense in defending the indefensible HOA….

HOA’s are nazis.

No, it is not the most educational show I could find, however Jeopardy was preempted by local news coverage of a fire about a hours north of where I live. Thankfully, we are still safe.