I’ve always preferred George Carlin’s take, but Carlin’s addition of his third commandment is the one that I’d like to see more people live by. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sk81tUUhRig
I know it’s supposed to be a gag, but it’s fairly obvious that it was written by someone who never studied the various Christian and Jewish interpretations behind the commandments. No one wants to hear any sort of detailed analysis, so I’ll spare you that, but for the record, referring to God as “He” is a matter of convention, since God, as spirit, has no “gender identification.” That said, Judaism believes God has both male and female aspects. For instance, the part of the Bible where the “Glory of God” descends upon Mount Sinai, and later the Tabernacle, and Solomon’s Temple, is considered a “feminine” aspect.
I also realize it’s just a gag, but it is a thought-provoking one. And for the record, Jesus did reduce it down to essentially one: Love God and love your neighbor as yourself. Everything else is details. Of course, those details can take up quite a lot of room (like, is it loving your neighbor to pay them a living wage?).
A famous Jewish rabbi at around the time of Jesus was taunted by a Roman soldier who demanded he summarize Judaism in one sentence. The rabbi answered “Do not do to others what you would not want done to you.” (words to that effect and it’s one commandment.)
Aah, if only the CHiNO’s were to pay strict the attention to the Ten Commandments like they tell everyone else to. The Commandments apply to others, not themselves.
many people, specially rednecks voted Trump because ‘no woman is gonna tell me what to do’; true. But I am a man so everything I do is idiotic, if a woman had done it it would not have been idiotic.. isn’t that kind of idiotic by itself? so men are idiots, women are not, just because they have some parts between their legs (which is probably what they use to think, apparently, since that’s what makes them idiotic or not). Oh well, the cartoon was made by a man after all
She said one law was needed, but gave two. God knows his creation needs it spelled out for them. God could’ve said “Love all” but there would be scribes, as in Jesus time, that would want a definition of “all”.
Depending on the mood I’m in, I’ll either do the Confucius thing or the Disney thing: Confucius
己所不欲,勿施於人。“What you do not wish for yourself, do not do to others.”子貢問曰:“有一言而可以終身行之者乎?”子曰:“其恕乎!己所不欲、勿施於人。”Zi Gong [a disciple] asked: “Is there any one word that could guide a person throughout life?” The Master replied: “How about ‘reciprocity’! Never impose on others what you would not choose for yourself.” Analects XV.24, tr. David Hinton
Jesus said, “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, soul and mind, and thy neighbor as thyself. In this is all the law and the prophets” Don’t lampoon the Bible, it only reveals your ignorance.
One famous account in the Talmud tells about a gentile who stated that he would accept Judaism only if a rabbi would teach him the entire Torah while he, the prospective convert, stood on one foot. First he went to Shammai, who, insulted by this ridiculous request, threw him out of the house. The man did not give up and went to Hillel, who accepted the challenge, and said:
“What is hateful to you, do not do to your neighbor. That is the whole Torah; the rest is the explanation of this—go and study it!”
actually the apostles did ask Jesus what was the most important thing to know and he responded that we should love God and Love others like we love ourselves…bottom line. (ok, he might not have said bottom line but that is what he meant)
Jesus did say, as recorded in Matthew 22:37-40“ ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.”
And in Matthew 7:12Therefore, everything you would like men to do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.
“The Law” meant the books that we nowadays know as the 5 books of Moses, and “the Prophets” meant the other books that jews in those days viewed as sacred (books that are part of our so called “Old Testament”).
The same spirit of the law is conveyed in other scriptures as well.
The problem is that people tend to like to interpret generic statements according to their own heart and this is why specific rules are needed.
In contrast the first person, Adam, was given only one simple commandment through which he could show respect to the one who had given him life and everything: to not to eat from a particular tree.
“I know the whole code of laws, for example. I happened to see them a few minutes ago, over the door of what passes here for a Department of Justice. Translated, they go something like this:
“You mustn’t annoy other people. And if you’re other people, you mustn’t allow yourself to be annoyed too easily.
“That’s all there is to it. "
—from “You Were Right, Joe” by J.T. McIntosh, published in Galaxy Science Fiction, November 1957
This strip is wrong or offensive on so may levels.1. The whole gag is based of of the stereotype that men are stubborn and won’t admit when they are wrong.2.Clearly the cartoonist didn’t look into Jewish and Christian thought. The bible doesn’t just tell you to be kind. It tells you how to be kind. What to do and what not to do. How to have a fair and just legal system. (I will admit that some things are a little out dated, but that happens over four thousand years.)3.The problem with just saying “Be kind to each other and not do anything stupid” is that kindness and what is stupid is relative.(for example, slave owners in the 1850’s justified themselves by saying that it was a kindness to those they enslaved.) That is why there are role modles for us to follow such as Abraham and Jesus4.God.Is.Not.Male. The bible uses male pronouns most of the time, true, but it also uses female ones. The only reason it uses male pronouns at all is because in the original Hebrew, there was no non-gender-specific pronoun,so male ones are used instead. Also, all images of God as male must be discounted on the grounds that the second comandment say that, “Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image” which means no idols and no images of God.Also, many other people already pointed this out but many texts outside of the bible have talked about this. The conclusion: what @Daniel Mishkin said.
The book of Leviticus denotes as abominations unto The Lord man on man, man on beast, and woman on beast sex acts. It does not denote woman on woman acts as such. Clearly, then, God is a dude.
GreasyOldTam almost 6 years ago
Yes, but define “stupid”.
Watcher almost 6 years ago
And as God would say in later centuries. I do everything for a reason and I’m not telling you or anyone.
sirbadger almost 6 years ago
Sounds like a George Carlin routine:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CE8ooMBIyC8
Farside99 almost 6 years ago
God has to be a man. A woman wouldn’t have screwed up conception/prevention/pregnancies this badly.
Dtroutma almost 6 years ago
Do unto others, does kind of cover it.
HidariMak1 almost 6 years ago
I’ve always preferred George Carlin’s take, but Carlin’s addition of his third commandment is the one that I’d like to see more people live by. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sk81tUUhRig
Nachikethass almost 6 years ago
If God had been a woman, It wouldn’t have made a man!
in.amongst almost 6 years ago
Tough luck old chap – first you get carved up by the woman and then by God. That’s life i guess.
kaffekup almost 6 years ago
Ok, I’ve gotta bring this up: tablets for the ancient Hebrews would not have been numbered with Roman numerals (from centuries later).
bexwhitt almost 6 years ago
If the Abrahamic all-powerful god existed, the fact the first for commandments are about him makes me doubt the all-powerful bit.
Brockie almost 6 years ago
Unfortunately no one seems to pay much attention to these rules of the game anymore.
Pseudandry almost 6 years ago
The original mansplaining!
the lost wizard almost 6 years ago
Typical female. That’s really two separate things.
tripwire45 almost 6 years ago
I know it’s supposed to be a gag, but it’s fairly obvious that it was written by someone who never studied the various Christian and Jewish interpretations behind the commandments. No one wants to hear any sort of detailed analysis, so I’ll spare you that, but for the record, referring to God as “He” is a matter of convention, since God, as spirit, has no “gender identification.” That said, Judaism believes God has both male and female aspects. For instance, the part of the Bible where the “Glory of God” descends upon Mount Sinai, and later the Tabernacle, and Solomon’s Temple, is considered a “feminine” aspect.
runawayboy079 almost 6 years ago
Glad to see you believe in God.
jmcenanly almost 6 years ago
Wouldn’t “Love thy neighbor as thyself”, be the same as “Be kind to each other”?
cdward almost 6 years ago
I also realize it’s just a gag, but it is a thought-provoking one. And for the record, Jesus did reduce it down to essentially one: Love God and love your neighbor as yourself. Everything else is details. Of course, those details can take up quite a lot of room (like, is it loving your neighbor to pay them a living wage?).
NeedaChuckle Premium Member almost 6 years ago
Too bad there wasn’t an 11th. Thou shalt not HATE!
Happy, happy, happy!!! Premium Member almost 6 years ago
I like hers better.
shorzy almost 6 years ago
Well the New Testament does say “Love your neighbor as yourself…Love God with your entire being…all the laws proceed from those 2”…
SunflowerGirl100 almost 6 years ago
A famous Jewish rabbi at around the time of Jesus was taunted by a Roman soldier who demanded he summarize Judaism in one sentence. The rabbi answered “Do not do to others what you would not want done to you.” (words to that effect and it’s one commandment.)
sarah413 Premium Member almost 6 years ago
Aah, if only the CHiNO’s were to pay strict the attention to the Ten Commandments like they tell everyone else to. The Commandments apply to others, not themselves.
redback almost 6 years ago
many people, specially rednecks voted Trump because ‘no woman is gonna tell me what to do’; true. But I am a man so everything I do is idiotic, if a woman had done it it would not have been idiotic.. isn’t that kind of idiotic by itself? so men are idiots, women are not, just because they have some parts between their legs (which is probably what they use to think, apparently, since that’s what makes them idiotic or not). Oh well, the cartoon was made by a man after all
preacherman Premium Member almost 6 years ago
She said one law was needed, but gave two. God knows his creation needs it spelled out for them. God could’ve said “Love all” but there would be scribes, as in Jesus time, that would want a definition of “all”.
fuzzbucket Premium Member almost 6 years ago
Define “kind”. And what does "other"mean? (Enough “Slick Willie” quotes?)
sandpiper almost 6 years ago
Favorite bumper sticker: When God made man first, SHE was only kidding. Gotta love that one.
billsarar almost 6 years ago
Because the first 4 are all about cementing the business model for the priests
Rauderi almost 6 years ago
George Carlin gave a good summary of the first Top Ten list:
And so, with all of this in mind, folks, I offer you my revised list of the Two Commandments:
First:
•THOU SHALT ALWAYS BE HONEST AND FAITHFUL, ESPECIALLYTO THE PROVIDER OF THY NOOKIE.
And second:
•THOU SHALT TRY REAL HARD NOT TO KILL ANYONE, UNLESS,OF COURSE, THEY PRAY TO A DIFFERENT INVISIBLE MANTHAN THE ONE YOU PRAY TO.
1953Baby almost 6 years ago
Depending on the mood I’m in, I’ll either do the Confucius thing or the Disney thing: Confucius
己所不欲,勿施於人。“What you do not wish for yourself, do not do to others.”子貢問曰:“有一言而可以終身行之者乎?”子曰:“其恕乎!己所不欲、勿施於人。”Zi Gong [a disciple] asked: “Is there any one word that could guide a person throughout life?” The Master replied: “How about ‘reciprocity’! Never impose on others what you would not choose for yourself.” Analects XV.24, tr. David Hinton
Disney/Gaiman & Prachett (?)
Do unto others before the do unto you.
steve-invest almost 6 years ago
He came back down the mountain with “Love your neighbor as yourself”.
DCBakerEsq almost 6 years ago
I’m fairly certain human DNA is hardwired for stupid.
dadlivonia almost 6 years ago
Okay, don’t the Ten basically say that
asmbeers almost 6 years ago
Jesus said, “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, soul and mind, and thy neighbor as thyself. In this is all the law and the prophets” Don’t lampoon the Bible, it only reveals your ignorance.
Troy Premium Member almost 6 years ago
Hey Lady, you want to add one more? you can’t even follow what’s written already!
gorbasche2 almost 6 years ago
It’s all part of the bedtime story to scare kids into behaving… “Be good, or you’ll burn in fire for eternity”.Yeah, right.
billdaviswords almost 6 years ago
Hmmm… reminds me of someone who said, “Love God and love your neighbor as yourself; that’s the whole Law.”
Saturday's Child almost 6 years ago
If everyone on the planet lived by the Golden Rule it would be Paradise. :)
Dr_Fogg almost 6 years ago
Stupid starts about half way through the first drink.
cupertino jay almost 6 years ago
yeahbut seems a cheat when “why not just one” allows Ands.
Andylit Premium Member almost 6 years ago
Disagree. As long as there are lawyers the rules must be specific. Even then they find ways around them.
Daniel Mishkin Premium Member almost 6 years ago
One famous account in the Talmud tells about a gentile who stated that he would accept Judaism only if a rabbi would teach him the entire Torah while he, the prospective convert, stood on one foot. First he went to Shammai, who, insulted by this ridiculous request, threw him out of the house. The man did not give up and went to Hillel, who accepted the challenge, and said:
“What is hateful to you, do not do to your neighbor. That is the whole Torah; the rest is the explanation of this—go and study it!”anomalous4 almost 6 years ago
Q: Why did Moses let the Israelites wander in the wilderness for 40 years?
A: Because men won’t stop to ask for directions.
Ka`ōnōhi`ula`okahōkūmiomio`ehiku Premium Member almost 6 years ago
I kinda like the eleventh commandment as stated by Jesus in John 13:34.
A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, just like I have loved you; that you also love one another.
Ka`ōnōhi`ula`okahōkūmiomio`ehiku Premium Member almost 6 years ago
Funny, as soon as religion is mentioned the Comments page quickly overflows.
Concretionist almost 6 years ago
1: If it hurts none, you may do it
2: Protect the weak from the strong
(unstated 3): Think, hard, about consequences before you exercise option 1.
Night-Gaunt49[Bozo is Boffo] almost 6 years ago
I see it has changed from “insider” to “Premium Member” sure is better than the “Genius” they used early on…
whiteheron almost 6 years ago
Stupid is as stupid does. Mama said.
russef almost 6 years ago
Again! Have at it guys!! And Gals!!
RJ Brown almost 6 years ago
Or Love your neighbor as yourself.
car2ner almost 6 years ago
actually the apostles did ask Jesus what was the most important thing to know and he responded that we should love God and Love others like we love ourselves…bottom line. (ok, he might not have said bottom line but that is what he meant)
3033111 almost 6 years ago
Jesus did say, as recorded in Matthew 22:37-40“ ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.”
And in Matthew 7:12Therefore, everything you would like men to do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.
“The Law” meant the books that we nowadays know as the 5 books of Moses, and “the Prophets” meant the other books that jews in those days viewed as sacred (books that are part of our so called “Old Testament”).
The same spirit of the law is conveyed in other scriptures as well.
The problem is that people tend to like to interpret generic statements according to their own heart and this is why specific rules are needed.
In contrast the first person, Adam, was given only one simple commandment through which he could show respect to the one who had given him life and everything: to not to eat from a particular tree.
The Brooklyn Accent Premium Member almost 6 years ago
“I know the whole code of laws, for example. I happened to see them a few minutes ago, over the door of what passes here for a Department of Justice. Translated, they go something like this:
“You mustn’t annoy other people. And if you’re other people, you mustn’t allow yourself to be annoyed too easily.
“That’s all there is to it. "
—from “You Were Right, Joe” by J.T. McIntosh, published in Galaxy Science Fiction, November 1957
keenanthelibrarian almost 6 years ago
Surely the 10 Commandments (plus a hellavalot in Leviticus) are meant to show us all how to be kind to each other and not do anything stupid.
Andrei193 almost 6 years ago
Andrei1935. Looking for the cartoon “Yes, tell me your religion is better than mine”. A dead body is in the front yard. From 2005 or so. Thanks
Jason fox is god almost 6 years ago
This strip is wrong or offensive on so may levels.1. The whole gag is based of of the stereotype that men are stubborn and won’t admit when they are wrong.2.Clearly the cartoonist didn’t look into Jewish and Christian thought. The bible doesn’t just tell you to be kind. It tells you how to be kind. What to do and what not to do. How to have a fair and just legal system. (I will admit that some things are a little out dated, but that happens over four thousand years.)3.The problem with just saying “Be kind to each other and not do anything stupid” is that kindness and what is stupid is relative.(for example, slave owners in the 1850’s justified themselves by saying that it was a kindness to those they enslaved.) That is why there are role modles for us to follow such as Abraham and Jesus4.God.Is.Not.Male. The bible uses male pronouns most of the time, true, but it also uses female ones. The only reason it uses male pronouns at all is because in the original Hebrew, there was no non-gender-specific pronoun,so male ones are used instead. Also, all images of God as male must be discounted on the grounds that the second comandment say that, “Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image” which means no idols and no images of God.Also, many other people already pointed this out but many texts outside of the bible have talked about this. The conclusion: what @Daniel Mishkin said.
Enter.Name.Here almost 6 years ago
The lawyers would be arguing the meaning of “stupid” for ages. You cannot deny God’s wisdom.
TIMH almost 6 years ago
The book of Leviticus denotes as abominations unto The Lord man on man, man on beast, and woman on beast sex acts. It does not denote woman on woman acts as such. Clearly, then, God is a dude.
djhaisell Premium Member almost 6 years ago
Doesn’t that kind of fall under “Love thy neighbour”?
Vakua789 almost 6 years ago
Jesus said that one first!Commandment one: Love GodCommandment two: Love thy neighbor
dsjwriter almost 6 years ago
Of course, a certain Savior delivered the Golden Rule